As we all have learned the hard way, “not everyone who smiles is your friend.” Unfortunately, there are some people who will ultimately betray our trust (no matter how “close” we thought they were). Though you may feel an overwhelming sense of anger or pain when you see them again, consider this four-step approach to rise above the situation.
Be aware and don’t deny what’s happening
If you’re facing this situation with a friend or loved one you deeply cared for, it’s understandable that you may be in denial–-even if you witnessed their actions firsthand. You put all your hope and effort into a bond that inevitably broke. It’s obvious that you may be hurting, but it’s important to come to terms with the situation in order to gain some closure and move on.
Don’t just dismiss them out of your life immediately. Talk to them. You’re not necessarily giving them the benefit of the doubt; you’re being the bigger person (which will leave you with a peace of mind in the end, no matter how crappy you may be feeling now). Be direct and to the point, and avoid fighting fire with fire. The last thing you want to do is react out of emotional turmoil and regret the things that you say.
They’re on your radar
If you do feel like you can accept them back into your life after this situation, be sure to let them know the repercussions of their actions. They’ll obviously realize the connection with you won’t be as strong as it once was, and that you will be wiser about trusting them the next time around. If you really want as little as possible to do with them, let them know that you know their games and won’t play them.
Now that you’ve dealt with it, move on
Whether you are forgiving or forgetting them, don’t let their manipulative behavior get the best of you. Take this moment as another lesson learned, and realize that we are all just humans trying to navigate through relationships the best way we know how.