Do you sometimes feel like you’re being judged even when you haven’t said a word? Research shows that within the first few seconds of meeting someone, judgments are made about their socioeconomic background, level of success, sexual orientation, trustworthiness and the list goes on. Whether it’s done in person or from behind a screen, it’s now become common and almost expected for people to sit in judgment of the decisions we make. Here are five signs that they are not really listening but secretly judging you.
No empathy
Judgmental people do not have an empathetic bone in their bodies. They fail to understand your journey because they can’t or won’t “step into your shoes.” Your reasons why are insignificant and your experience carries no weight in their eyes. Don’t expect support.
Cutting people off
If you find yourself struggling to finish your sentences much less your thoughts because you are constantly being interrupted, chances are you are being judged. Not only is it rude but it’s an indication that the person you are speaking with truly believes that whatever you have to say isn’t as important as what they have to share. It’s disrespectful and frustrating.
Excessive advice
We all make mistakes in life. We do things differently than others. And we all have our own paths to travel. When you find yourself constantly receiving unsolicited advice from a friend or colleague, chances they are judging you. They do not approve of your choices and feel the need to remind you of that constantly. Even if your choices are bad ones, they are still yours to make and the consequences are yours to bear.
They compare you
When you are being judged, there is a tendency for the person judging you to compare you to what they would have done or what others have done – and it’s not in a constructive manner. In their eyes, you never measure up and they portray themselves as this very smart person who always seems to have the right response to every situation.
No freedom to be your true self
There are friends and colleagues with whom you can spend time and truly be yourself. If you are afraid to be yourself around an individual or group of people, it’s probably because you are concerned that your true self will not be accepted and that you are being judged.
