Are You A Good Listener?

June 2011

For women in business, listening is as important as speaking. A first-class listener must be open to new ideas, genuinely interested in the opinions of others, considerate, and aware. To develop this skill, you need to be willing to set aside your own ego and relinquish the conversation to another person. Practicing listening builds trust, because we all want to be heard. 

Are you good at listening? Ask yourself these yes or no questions. Do you allow others to finish their thought before jumping in? Are you busy thinking of your story instead of listening to the one being told? Do you dominate the conversation, leaving no space for others to give their opinions? Do you feel impatient or annoyed when someone else is talking? Are you bored by other people’s feedback?  

Based on your response to these questions you might have figured out something about yourself as a listener. Here are some are tips to help you listen better.

Be aware of your body language. Make sure you know how you appear while having a conversation. Leaning forward sends a warm, caring signal; leaning back in your chair with your arms folded is a cold, uninviting gesture. Always stay tuned in to your body language as well as the body language of the other person. 

Take notes. Taking notes during a conversation shows the other person what they are saying is of value and deserves a second look. You affirm that you have heard them. 

Make eye contact. Eye contact is very important, both yours and theirs. Your words will not be trusted if you can’t look directly at them.

Ask questions to clarify. Asking questions allows you to get the whole story. Also, a good listener will repeat what is being said to clarify and verify what has been communicated. Leave nothing to the imagination.

Let the other person talk. Encourage the other person to tell the whole story before you give your opinion. Remember to stay focused on the issue or problem, not on where you’re going for lunch and when the meeting is over.

The ability to listen is a great tool for building connections and fostering communication, not only in business but in your personal life, too. Practice makes perfect, so keep doing it and you will strengthen this skill.  It is well worth the effort. It can work magic with your colleagues, family and friends.

Adapted from "The Voice of Success: A Woman’s to a Powerful and Persuasive Voice" by Joni Wilson, Amacom. 

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