Are You a Supergirl?

February 2010

In today’s society, women of all ages tend to be overachievers. But there’s a difference between a healthy amount of drive and a need to have it all no matter the cost to your health and sanity. Does this sound like you? The Supergirl attitude is a hard habit to break and one that can threaten your true happiness, so we interviewed Liz Funk, reformed Supergirl and author of Supergirls Speak Out: Inside the Secret Crisis of Overachieving Girls for some expert advice. These tips will free you from this growing crisis that’s affecting more and more young women.

Achieve without overachieving.
A Supergirl feels the need to be in charge of everything according to Funk. “If she’s going to be on student council, she has to be president. If she’s going to be on a committee at work, she needs to be the chairperson. It’s important to learn how to stand down from a new opportunity when you know you realistically don’t have time for it,” she explains. If you’re conflicted, stop and think about why you want to take on a task—is it going to lead you towards a specific goal? Then great! Will it just give you a feeling of accomplishment and another bullet on your resume? Then pass!

Keep small tasks small.
Many Supergirls complain about being overworked. But oftentimes it’s not because their bosses or professors are giving them too much—it’s because they take small tasks and turn them into really big productions. “They’re making a lot of work out of smaller projects, because being busy is a huge part of their identity and they may feel guilty when they’re idle," says Funk. Whenever possible break things into small, manageable tasks and avoid making a lot of unnecessary work for yourself.

Use technology sparingly.
“It’s really dangerous how much we use our cell phones,” Funk explains. “Women are really never alone with their thoughts, so they never have a chance to listen to their internal monologue.” Without some personal reflection time, Supergirls can have a hard time staying true to themselves and making decisions based on what will make them happy. Put away the technology at least once a day and listen to your inner thoughts. It will help you get in touch with your needs and desires, as well as find the right solutions when you’re confronted with pressures in your life.

Stop waiting for your ‘moment.’
Supergirls always think in terms of, ‘I’ll be happy when I’m rich,’ or ‘I’ll be perfect when I’m skinny.’ The problem with thinking this way is that it becomes a never ending cycle—there will always be something you’re after. Life is too short to let it pass you by in this way. Set realistic goals, and Funk suggests you ‘look for the joy and achievement in everyday situations instead of waiting for life to begin once you get into an Ivy League school, get the hottest boyfriend, or get a promotion.'

Let go of perfection.
Regrettably, Supergirls measure themselves against other women. But Funk strongly urges you to realize that "oftentimes this image of perfection is really just a façade. If more young women were conscious of that, they wouldn’t hold themselves to such standards,” she believes. Yes, a woman might look perfect at 8am, but the reality is she probably woke up at 5:30am to look that way and is putting a ton of pressure on herself. Deconstruct the ‘perfect girl’ image you compare yourself with and set your own attainable standards.

Talk to someone.
Although some parents put pressure on their daughters to succeed, Funk found through her research that ninety percent of Supergirls put it on themselves. Your parents would be eager to help if they knew you were struggling to handle the stress. Supergirl tendencies can sometimes mask more serious issues—you may be distracting yourself from nagging inner thoughts or looking for a way to validate your identity. There’s nothing wrong with seeking professional advice from a therapist or counselor. And confronting it now is important—or your intense drive for perfection will continue to burden you as an adult.