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When I ask clients what they really, really, really want in their lives, I frequently hear the following phrases:

·         I think that I probably want to ….

·         I should be doing this because…..

·         If I had more money I would….

·         If I were younger I would…..

What do all of these partial statements have in common?

a)    They are excuses.

b)    They are indicators of fear.

c)    They are what you believe to be true.

d)    They demonstrate a lack of clarity on what you really want?

If you said, and I know that you did, they all have a,b,c,and d in common, you are right.   Even though I have been hired as a coach to help people make a change, many, if not most, don’t really know what they want.  Or if they do know the goal, it changes a short ways into the coaching process.  Before you accuse me of blaming my clients for not knowing what they want, let me say that I am not blaming anyone.  Knowing exactly what the ‘big change’ is takes a lot time and energy, not to mention self development know-how.  Only a small percentage of people were taught early in life to find out what they really, really, really want in life and how to achieve it.  If you were never taught this, how can you expect to be an expert in creating a ‘big change’ life?  What most of us have been taught between the ages of 0 and 2 are whole bunch of fear based life patterns that result in a ‘no change’ life.  Fear based lives are like driving an automobile with a fogged up windshield, it is very difficult to see the road ahead.  And even though you know that you need to turn on the defroster, you can’t find it in the high tech world of computer operated cars.  Besides in today’s world, who has time to wait for things to be clear before you leave the driveway?

If you enter the “big change zone” without clarity you are doomed to wondering around aimlessly while your frustration grows as you fail to reach your destination.  Instituting changes, that lead to a more meaningful, joyful and abundant life, demands clarity on several different levels. 

In order to make the ‘Big Change’ you are seeking in your life, you need great clarity in at least two areas.  The first is the mission for your life.  Your mission statement describes the core concept for your life.  It is your reason for being here.  If you are still saying, “I don’t know what I want to be when I grow up!” it will be very difficult to make a ‘Big Change’ happen.  ‘Big Change’ is never easy, however it is more likely to occur when you are clear on who you want to be.  If you have spent any time coaching with me or in one of my classes, you know how important I believe mission statements are. (Right now, I hope my clients are reciting their mission statement to themselves.)  You are part of the way there once you have created your mission statement and memorized it so that you can say it at gunpoint.  Real clarity comes when you begin to take action to make your mission come true. 

The second area of clarity that ‘Big Change’ requires is  life patterns.  It is mandatory that you are aware of the fear based life patterns that are preventing you from taking bold action and then creating love based life patterns that support your ‘Big Change’.  Combining your mission statement with power of love based life patterns to support your mission create a higher level of energy and thus commitment to make the ‘big change’. 

Not long ago I had a client who was in a lot of emotional and spiritual pain.  She had no mission statement, operated from fear based patterns most of the time and on every coaching call she wanted to focus on something different.  First it was to find a job, then it was to be a leader in a service organization, then it was to be a writer, then it was ….. All along the way we kept clarifying life patterns and working on her mission statement.  Slowly clarity developed.  The emotional and spiritual pain has been replaced with a feeling of joy, a clear direction for her career and new power and joy in her writing. 

When you enter the “Big Change Zone” be prepared to spend more than 30 minutes getting to the answer. 

Are you ready to turn on your defroster and put this level of work into your ‘big change’? 

We're pleased to introduce your Career Coach for July 2010, Frank Mallinder, the "change your energy" coach and founder of the Learning Institute.

In the summer especially, sometimes I wonder if we live to work, instead of work to live...

Earlier this week we interviewed a woman in Australia who will be featured on our site in the future. She told us that her company gives employees the option to buy extra leave in addition to the four weeks per year they already have off. Every year she buys an extra two weeks and spends the time with her three children while they are on holiday from school--the extra time she takes off is deducted from her salary over the course of the year, rather than all at once.

Seems like an interesting option to have...

Foodies are turning their attention to the differences in the way men and women prepare food, and we are very intrigued.

The Astor Center for Food and Wine Experiences in New York City recently hosted the event, "Gender Confusion: Unraveling the Myth of Gender in the Kitchen."

A panel of esteemed chefs, cookbook authors and editors-in-chief were put to the taste test—after tasting a dish, could they tell if it was prepared by a man or a woman?

“Men are said to take more creative risks and prefer complicated, showy techniques, whereas women supposedly choose subtlety and balance over bravado,” says an article in Saveur magazine’s website.

Is it valid to assume that there is a difference in the way men and women prepare food?

Turn your attention to cooking shows on the Food Network—do you see any gender trends? For example:

5 Ingredient Fix, hosted by Claire Robinson
Giada At Home, hosted by Giada Di Laurentiis
30 Minute Meals, hosted by Rachael Ray (she’s made 15-minute meals on her daytime talk show!)

Compare these to:

Good Eats, hosted by Alton Brown
Essence of Emeril, hosted by Emeril Lagasse
Boy Meets Grill, hosted by Bobby Flay

We want to know what you think. What’s your cooking style? And if you’re no cook at all, are you more drawn to the more complex or subtle and balanced meals?

As an executive coach and consultant, I see how critical it is for each of us to operate more strategically in all aspects of our lives - in business and at home. Women are natural leaders in this way; through our natural affinity for others - listening and building relationships that encourage others to think with a bigger picture in mind and operate more out of the box. Given the increasing need for the competence of thinking strategically to stay competitive in a changing world, what can you can do to set up the environment around you for strategic thinking and innovation?

 Lead with a question. Whenever possible, use a question to initiate a strategic discussion. Doing so will promote dialogue through invitation, not imposition. Questions such as:  Can you tell me more about what’s going on there? Can you recommend someone with whom I can speak about this so that I can learn first-hand what’s going on? How might this be significant for our part of the business?

 Listen and let the person know you’ve heard.  Demonstrate your willingness to listen with respect and to understand the other person’s perspective on the issue at hand. Work hard to understand the other person’s line of reasoning and make it visible for both of you to examine. 

Answer their need first, then raise the level. People need you to engage with the issue they have in front of them and at their level of attention. Do so, unless you judge that addressing the issue at their level is fundamentally flawed.  In most cases, however, you will be able to address the issue in parallel, using empathy to address the level of thinking you see is at play, while simultaneously drawing attention to the need to examine the larger issues as well.

Acknowledge the difficulty. Let the other person know that you recognize the difficulty of addressing the issues and dimensions of the situation.

Sell the benefits of engaging at a more strategic level. At the same time as you recognize the difficulties, clarify the importance of addressing the more strategic dimensions of the situation. For instance, point out the reduction in costs and the efficiencies to be gained, identify down-the-line issues that will threaten a project’s timeline, note historical instances of “quick fixes” that were costly in the long run, and identify the benefits of seizing larger opportunities.

Bottom line, each of us can learn and lead those behaviors which drive and sustain more strategic thinking and innovation.  And, given our ongoing need to adapt and thrive within a changing world, every leader…each of us....must look at how to invite thinking with the bigger picture in mind, which balances past success with evolving demands.  

Warmly,

Andrea Zintz, Ph.D.

Strategic Leadership Resources LLC

Shaping the Future!

To all the men who are fathers--and in memory of the fathers who have passed on.

We honor you!

fondly, Helene

How to prepare? It's best to really define the major accomplishments that you had in any previous job, internships included. If you don't have a lot of job experience, it may only be a couple of things, but quantify it. It doesn't have to be numbers, but it might be some kind of recognition or other proof of impact. Go as far and deep as possible. Be prepared to say how the experience was really good for the organization you were working for. 

When you’re sitting outside the interview, mentally prepare while sitting there in an outfit that makes you feel great. Your resume should be a document that you can look at in final preparation two minutes before the interview. Be prepared for the questions you'll be asked and the information the interviewer will need.

In the interview, follow the interviewer’s lead until you start to get a feeling that the interviewer is comfortable with the conversation, since then the interviewer is more willing to give you an opportunity for dialogue. You build a partnership not by just answering questions, but by eventually leading that conversation toward dialogue.

When you get the sense that the interviewer is totally comfortable you can start to ask questions that will give you the information you need to see it this is a good fit for you, but watch out - in the first interview, the interviewer is in “buy” mode and you’re in “sell” mode. You have to be very careful that you don’t start going into “buy” mode if this first interview is a screening interview. It's all about feeling your way and the longer you give the company to fall in love with you in the beginning, the more leverage you’re going to have on the back-end to ask your questions. If the interviewer really likes you, you can usually tell and you can create your opportunity.

Be careful in the first interview. You may have 15 questions, but only have an opportunity to ask one or two. The more you do your job in the sell phase so they fall in love with you — in a business sense — the more they’re going to give you an opportunity to address your agenda later on.

Good luck!!

Warmly,

Andrea Zintz, Ph.D.

Strategic Leadership Resources

Shaping the Future!

Ellen Galinsky is a pioneer--she is the founder and is still at the helm of Families and Work Institute.  Her new book, MIND IN THE MAKING is about the seven essential skills that every child needs: focus and self control, perspective, communicating, making connections, critical thinking, taking on challenges, self-directed,engaged learning. Good information and insights into the science of early learning.

fondly, Helene

Women so often "take the rap" in organizations--mostly by men--for being too emotional.  How can we see our natural ability to experience our feelings as one of our best features?  How can we use our emotions, especially the stressful ones, as an advantage--especially at work?

The key is to realize that our stressful feelings arise when our needs are going unmet.  Examples of stressful feelings include: fear, anger, frustration, guilt and shame. By noticing what we are feeling we can ask ourselves what need might be going unmet?  Then when you have identified the most pressing need, ask yourself, "What strategies can I use to satisfy this need?

Warm Regards,

Andrea Zintz, Ph.D.Strategic Leadership Resources

I am Andrea Zintz and happy to be your resource as you pose questions, concerns, ideas, and goals abo ut leading, navigating workplace, relationships and career.

A little about me: I specialize in executive and high potential leadership strategy, succession and developme nt. I have over 30 years experience in Leadership Development, Change Management, Human Reso urces Development and Training. I am the president of Strategic Leadership Resources.

I cultivated my experiences as a coach and in the development of executives and hi-potential leaders within the diversified healthcare and pharmaceutical, defense, and retail industries. As Vice President of Human Resources and Management Board member of the Johnson & Johnson subsidiary, Or tho Biotech, Inc., I helped lead the growth of the company from $40 million to $500 million in a 6-year period, and launched breakthrough biotech products. I also led executive leadership development for North America from J&J Corporate. My special interests include executive women advancement, diversity/inclusion, and mentoring. My doctoral dissertation was about mentoring: What constitutes effective mentoring for women who are stuck in their careers within large corporate settings? I received my M.A. and Ph.D. from Fielding Graduate University.

Today I work primarily with senior leaders and leadership teams in business units of Fortune 500 corporations to develop high potential and senior leaders through team alignment/development strategies and coaching. Some of my current clients include J&J, Lockheed Martin, Nokia Siemens Networks, Sepracor, and GE. A specialty of mine is crafting powerful and strategic questions we can ask ourselves (and others) to access the best thinking. Since all thought, feelings, and actions are answers to   questions that we ask ourselves at all times, and we’re not always conscious of, questions are a strong leverage point for thinking – if we change our questions, we can change everything that flows from them - our decisions, actions, and results!

I enjoy coaching. I am always honored to be involved with the wonderful people who are trying to make a difference at work every day, pursuing their vision, shaping results, and creating meaning for themselves and others. As other coaches have said in their intros, my goal is to make a difference every day.

I live in New Jersey, am married to an elementary school teacher and have two wonderful daughters,15 and 17. I feel very fortunate to work with a great team at SLR, with challenging companies, wonderful leaders, and to have great friends.

Warm regards,

Andrea Zintz, Ph.D,

Strategic Leadership Resources

Shaping the Future!