Andrea Zintz
Repair Trust When Broken
Allow Feelings to Surface. Acknowledge what has occurred and notice what you are experiencing. Are you justifying your feelings? Stay non-judgmental about this and give yourself some quiet time alone.
Get Support. You may feel hurt, vulnerable, and you may want to retreat rather than share your experience. Turning to a trusted colleague, friend, or family member can help you confront feelings of powerlessness.
Reframe the Experience. Reflect on why this happened and what messages you need to hear. What lessons do you need to learn? By looking for a greater purpose, you can see how this painful experience can teach you something about relationships.
Take Responsibility. There is no benefit to blaming, getting back at others, or obsessing. It always takes two people when there is a break in trust. Ask yourself, what role did I play? Am I making excuses or trying to divert blame from myself? What could I have done differently?
Forgive Yourself and Others. This will lift resentment that can cause stress and discomfort. In the process of forgiving, you gain personal insight and lay the foundation for reconciliation with the other party.
Let Go and Move On. Reflect on the experience; see what you have learned about yourself and others that you can apply the next time. Most of all, lighten up and don’t take yourself too seriously.
Rebuilding Trust in the Workplace: Seven Steps for Renewing Confidence, Commitment and Energy by Dennis and Michelle Reina.
Build Trust: What You Can Do
May 2011
If there is one thing that is pivotal to your life, it’s trust. Regardless of where you work or what you do, we all want the same thing--trust in our relationships. The presence of it is foundational to friendships, effective communications, and the growth of your career. Your ability to establish, grow and restore it when it is broken is a hard truth about what makes your business dealings successful.
It takes the following three things to build trust: Achieving results by following through with commitments and promises; Acting with integrity by behaving in a consistent manner; and demonstrating concern by respecting the well-being of others.
Results Matter
They are important to our reputation and credibility. By following through on your promises and commitments, you get classified as a strong performer. This can help your “eccentricity ratio.” Your ability to be forgiven for being a bit different is in direct proportion to being viewed as credible by those around you. Without credibility, you don’t have trust.
To increase your credibility, ask yourself these questions:
- What kind of results am I currently producing? How do they contribute to my credibility?
- Do I consistently make and keep commitments to myself and others?
- Does my performance inspire confidence and trust? What can I do to improve it?
Act with Integrity
Many of us think of integrity as honesty, but it also means leaving the right impression. The ability to act in harmony with your deepest values and beliefs brings about “congruence” or a match between intent and behavior. This is what it means to be authentic and to act in concert with your principles. When people feel you are strong, solid, and dependable, and see you behaving consistently with your word, they are likely to trust you.
To increase your integrity, ask yourself these questions:
- Do I usually walk my talk?
- Am I clear on my values and principles and do I stand up for them?
- Am I behaving consistently across situations?
Be responsive to the needs of others
Choose generosity in the way you listen to others; seek a win-win solution, seeing past the emotion of the moment to the needs at play for yourself and others. This comes from developing an esprit de corps about you, showing confidence in others’ abilities, establishing rapport and dialogue, listening openly to another point of view, and recognizing and appreciating their contributions.
To increase your concern for others, ask these questions:
- Do I declare my intent – my motives and agenda?
- Do I genuinely care for others? Do I show it in the way I listen?
- Do I treat everyone with respect and concern, addressing their needs – especially those who can’t do anything for me?
Hone Your Skills: Manage Your Boss
Hone Your Skills: Get More Feedback
Hone Your Skills: Generational Networking
Hone Your Skills: Are You Afraid of Your Boss?