Could women be less vain than men?
I recently watched a short news report about a study in a chines university where they tried to find out whether men are more vain than women. The researchers made appointments with their subjects to be interviewed and each has to wait in a waiting room before being interviewed. In each room there is a one way mirror where researchers can video tape the subject's action without being seen. In that study, men looked at themselves in the mirror more than the women.
Could men be more vain than women?
This whole topic of vanity is of tremendous interest to me. I think when it comes to our careers and ambitions, our vanity is really about our reputation, which is an external manifestation of our identity - or we hope it is. So often our reputations arise by default, rather than a consciously honed "personal brand" we plan and execute as authentically as possible. We want our reputations to generate being chosen for the projects that we desire, the advancement opportunities we want, and earn us good performance reviews. This is a very productive kind of "vanity."
Men are just as concerned as women about this. Where men tend to be transactional and work the old boy network, women often excel through our natural relationship skills, excellent attention to our preparation and performance, and interpersonal sensitivity.
Some questions I've asked myself in building my career have been:
o What is my default reputation or brand; the one that I have now that I may not be fully aware of? How can I find this out?
o What do I want to be known for? How does this reflect my key strengths, talents and passions?
o How can I more consciously define this in terms of my behaviors, habits, practices and relationships?
o What do I need to develop and do to actualize the best possible positive reputation?
Sarina, I completely agree with you when you say that when it comes to dating, men are more vain. It is as if they are allowed to critique a woman completely on her looks alone- it is up to us to judge men on their personality; a man will tell his friends how good-looking his girlfriend is, while women preach to one another how "sweet" and "attentive" their guy is. This is a very strange idea to me as well.
To bring in something historical- which had been mentioned, I just finished reading The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde. This whole novel is based on the idea that men really are vain. Dorian, so obsessed with his image actually gives his soul away to the devil so that he may remain beautiful forever, and he is praised for his outer beauty by both men and women alike.
It is a strange society we live in- while even though we believe we live in a society where sexism is a thing of the past, it appears and reappears time and time again whether in a social setting or at work. It is our 'job' to rise above it.
This doesn't surprise me. People are vain regardless of their gender, but society has made it more acceptable for females to be vain. Historically, females' worth revolved around how well they kept up appearances. This was not the case for males. Men were ridiculed if they cared too much about their looks. Although things have changed, it is still more socially acceptable for women to be vain. I must say, however, that men seem to be more open about having vain motives when it comes to relationships.
Lol! I know a lot of guys who are way more cautious about their vanity than I am. They are just as vain.