With so many marriages ending in divorce these days, (the average couple getting married today has a 75 percent chance of staying married), it’s not easy to keep love flowing. When you invest a lot of time and energy into a relationship that’s gone sour, it can be heartbreaking. But because a relationship has failed, that doesn’t mean that you are a failure. In fact, when you have done everything humanly possible to try to make it work, and it doesn’t, the real tragedy may be holding on too tight. Is there any upside of divorce? Here are some things to consider.
It is possible to start over
Even if the “pull of the past” is strong, you are entitled to find real happiness. A relationship that no longer works may, in a weird way, give you a sense of security because you’ve grown accustomed to it. Stepping out of your “comfort zone” may feel scary, but in the end, it’s worth the risk.
You are not selfish
To go after what you truly want is self-affirming. Look at it this way—you gave your relationship your best shot, but despite you and your partner’s best efforts, it wasn’t enough to sustain a successful marriage. Learn from your experiences (the good and the bad) and have the courage to find a partner who is compatible.
Children learn from everything
Many relationships stay together for the sake of the children. But at what cost? Are the children happier as a result? If they see their parents constantly fighting, what misconceptions will they grow up with? Yes, a breakup is never easy and trying to split visitation time between two people will be difficult, but is there really an alternative? You will set an example by teaching them that life is about making hard decisions, and you may establish a better relationship with them.
Time for YOU
It’s always important to take good care of yourself—before, during and after the breakup. Never script on investing in yourself—whether it be taking a course, getting a massage or getting together with a friend.
Get excited about what’s next
Create a new chapter for yourself. Why not revisit important things you put on the back burner? Don’t let negative mind talk get the best of you. If you are telling yourself that life has passed you by or that you’re too old, counter with the truth—the best is yet to come.
