If you’re single and a hopeless romantic, you may think that the perfect relationship will cure many of your worries. Or if you’re fully committed, you may think that nothing else compares to what you share with your significant other. Being in love is a wonderful thing, of course. But unfortunately, there are times intimacy just isn’t enough with the men we care about.
When he’s not the one
According to Aziz Ansari’s best-selling book Modern Romance, millennials have redefined the institution of marriage. Back in the day, people didn’t get married when they were in love; they got married when they found someone decent enough to fit the bill. Today, we’re looking for that person who checks off all of the things we desire in a mate—putting increased pressure on everyone to step up their game to (in turn) attract our lifelong person. If the relationship “will do” for the moment but you don’t see it heading long term … intimacy just isn’t enough.
When your family/friends don’t like him
My mother always told me, “When you marry someone, you also marry their family,” and it’s true to a certain extent. Granted, your relationship is yours and your partner’s alone, but if things are starting to get serious with someone, you’ll want to have your family and friends’ approval before you decide to take things further. If there is a hard no coming from more than a few trustworthy people in your inner circle, it may be difficult to focus on progressing your relationship—no matter how badly you want to ignore their remarks.
When your career goals are at stake
There’s much to be said about the debate of career vs. commitment. On one hand, you want to advance your career without any potential distractions. What if you get the phone call you’ve been waiting your whole life for to pursue your ultimate dream job? Do you put your love life on hold to make the move to California? If he’s the right one, you know you’ll find a way to make the relationship work. But if your future with him seems cloudy, is what you have together enough to pull through the uncertainty?
When you’re compromising too much
A healthy compromise is vital to any successful romantic relationship. But if you’re making too many sacrifices to the point where you’re losing your core values, the relationship will fail. You shouldn’t change yourself for anyone, even if he is very attractive.