Regaining respect from a Male Manager - Help
Mon, 09/21/2009 - 19:08
Hello I broke down in front of my male manager - who is not an emotional man he has adriver personality and basically has no people skills. I was having a conversation with him and I became emotional and had to leave. I had other issues going on in my life at the time, it was also not in the office but at a colleagues leaving party. Now he cant look me in the face and when he does speak to me is rude. What can I do to resolve this situation. I would welcome any advice.
Hi Tony,
How embarrassed and maybe even mortified you must feel about becoming emotional in front of your manager. It must be frustrating as well to miss his acknowledgement, empathy and respect for your feelings.
I also wonder how he's feeling? Might he be overcome with discomfort about how to respond to you in the face of your strong emotions? He may just not know how to react or what to do, and this shows up to you as rudeness.
Men generally like to solve problems for others, and he may feel helpless in the face of your distress. How can you help him out of his discomfort? You have the people skills here - and perhaps you can draw him out of his discomfort and give him a dignified way to relate to you.
Here are some questions you can ask yourself as you think through this dilemma...
o How can I empathize with him about his discomfort - without being apologetic? Might a light-touch such as humor work to break the ice?
o I what way am I a model of people skills? How can I use my skills to demonstrate empathy and understanding?
o What is an appropriate time and place for this conversation where we can both save some face?
There is a possible breakthrough in this incident for the relationship between you and your manager here. Good luck and please keep us informed!
Warmly,
Andrea Zintz, Ph.D., President
Strategic Leadership Resources LLC
Shaping the Future!