Office Break-ups
Of course the main reason why dating a colleague isn't a good idea is because of the damage it can do to your career if you break up. Follow these rules if you're part of a break-up at work.
Focus on priorities.
If you take your emotions out of the equation you'll be more productive.
Don't badmouth.
If you break up, it's ok to vent to an office buddy, as long as his name remains anonymous.
Look elsewhere for romance.
Don't depend on office relationships for your social satisfaction. Make room for a social life outside of work.
Office Romance
October 2009
Dr. Anne-Renee Testa
Psychologist, Relationship Expert
Dating a coworker is never a good idea for a number obvious reasons: it could spawn rumors about your ulterior motives, rouse jealousy that could have someone set on sabotaging your career, or generally make people uncomfortable. Here are Dr. Testa's guidelines for office dating, if you must.
DO'S:
If you can help it, don't do it. When you're at work, your job is your number one priority. Whether there is an official policy or not, dating a colleague is never completely appropriate--it's bound to cause an issue down the line, for you or for others.
Take your own temperature. If you decide to date a co-worker, make sure it's because you have a lot of respect for them and that you'd be dating them regardless of whether you work together or not. If you're simply enamored with him, you're asking for trouble.
Make rules. Set clear guidelines about what you will and won't do while you're in the office. It's important for both of you to stick to your decisions about what's off-limits, for the sake of your jobs and your relationship.
Make the least of it. If people start to ask questions, don't offer anything up. Say, "I'd rather not get into that." Tell your partner what you've said, so he knows you expect the same from him.
DONT'S:
Don't lead someone on. If a colleague is interested in you and the feeling isn't mutual, don't play into it for fear of hurting his feelings. Make it clear with your professional interactions and your business-like stance that this is how you're relationship will remain. It's important not to make him feel snubbed, so use the excuse that you have a rule about dating at work.
Don't tell people. Unless you become engaged, your romantic life is no one else's business. You may be itching to tell your closest work buddy, but it's not a good idea because it becomes distracting for both of you.
Don't discuss work with your beau. Don't share war stories, office gossip, quarrels with your boss, or other work-related issues with him. If the relationship goes sour, you'll be sorry. Chances are you'll lose confidentiality.
Don't let on. You don't have to avoid him completely- there should be few private lunches together- but, no hanging around each others' desks, and certainly no flirting.