Stop Worrying! Really.

The holiday brunch. Your guest list includes just the right mix of friends, colleagues, personalities and styles.  You receive a last minute cancellation from a guest who is critical for the mix. Don’t worry!   Seriously.  Here is one approach to lessen worry in this situation and others.  Simply reformulate the issue or situation into a very specific problem that can be solved.  Once you identify the problem you can start generating possible solutions.

Worry is when you’re thinking negatively or pessimistically about an upcoming situation or you’re second-guessing yourself about something that’s already happened.

Problem solving means that thinking leads to action. Worry means that thinking leads to anxiety. Here is a common example from the workplace.  You’re worrying when you ask yourself, “...what if I don’t get the promotion”, or “why didn’t  I get the promotion?” rather than “what can I do right now to ensure I am recognized and get the promotion I have earned next quarter?”

It’s asking questions without resolution that make you more and more anxious. Another way to conceptualize this is to consider that  worry is the thinking component of anxiety. It’s what you’re saying to yourself when you’re anxious. Anxiety  often manifests itself with the biologic responses we associate with stress; i.e. muscle tension, racing heart and headaches.

Some people are more prone to worry than others. The evidence shows that women worry more than men. Women are also more likely than men to focus on negative aspects of themselves.  Also, there are personality traits that make you more likely to worry. If you commonly experience extreme negative emotions such as sadness this may represent the personality trait is known as negative affectivity.   This negative self focus can creates even more worry and anxiety.

Overall, being aware and tuning into your emotional state can be beneficial when it allows you to discover what’s really best for you--but not if it leads to worry.  Here is the good news.  Worry for most of us is a learned pattern that change be changed.

Start today. Listen to yourself.  Mind-shift and transform worry into new solutions for happiness for the holidays and the new year!

Carol J. Scott, MD

optimalstress.com