Compare and Despair
With the constant tweets and status updates, it’s easy to get caught in the trap of comparing ourselves to others. Maybe your friend who’s graduating soon was just offered a fabulous job, while you’re still sending out applications. Here are a few suggestions to help you.
Understand the real issue
We all compare from time to time. But if you constantly worry about measuring up, it might be due to a deeper insecurity that’s preventing you from feeling more self-confident.
Social media savvy
You didn’t tweet about the time you spilled coffee all over your white sweater. Neither would your friends. Real life is more complicated than the carefully constructed positive comments you see on Facebook and Twitter.
Shift your focus
Rather than comparing yourself to others, instead compare where you are today to where you were a year ago. What new skills have you learned? How have you grown? Own your accomplishments.
Value your talents
You can’t be the best at everything. Someone else may be more talented in one area, but you excel in another. You have important skills of your own. Your friend may be a better athlete, but you might be a better writer. You have a unique set of strengths and contributions to make.
Ditch perfectionism
At some point, you’re going to fail. We all do. When it happens, don’t tell yourself that you’re less capable than anyone else. Learning from your mistakes is one of the most important building blocks of success.
Practice gratitude
Comparing comes from a mentality of scarcity—the fear that we don’t have enough talent, money, popularity, or what have you, to be safe and comfortable in life. Being grateful will shift your perspective.
Stop measuring your worth
There’s the false belief that if you have better grades, better hair, or a better job, you’re a more valuable person and more worthy of love, success, or happiness. Realize that we are all inherently valuable. You are enough!
Focus on your goals
Don’t squander your energy obsessing about what someone else has accomplished. Keep your focus on your own path. Work to excel on your projects.
Get support
When you’re feeling inadequate, spend time with someone you trust who will remind you of your talents. Nothing boosts your self-esteem like encouragement from a friend.