Negative Habits That Strain a Relationship and How to Fix Them
There are negative behaviors that creep into relationships and can turn into poison. Did you just have a hiccup, or did you just get a glimpse at a future problem? Look out for these negative habits that put strain on relationships.
Fighting in Public
Couples fight sometimes. It happens. It doesn’t mean that the end is near. However, if fights happen in front of other people, it is embarrassing, it shuts down healthy communication, and it invites other people to judge your relationship.
What to do: Disagreements can be good for relationships. They help you understand difficult things about each other. But being able to communicate openly and without fear is important, so if you’re about to lose it, find somewhere to talk privately.
Comparing your relationship to other relationships
If you define your relationship by how other people do their relationships, you are always going to feel like your relationship is falling short. Just like every person is unique, so is every coupling.
What to do: Focus on the great things in your relationship. Figure out what makes you happy, what is important to you, and focus on those things. It may require some serious introspection, but it’s worth it.
“We can’t go on together with suspicious minds” – Elvis Presley
If you are suspicious of what your partner is doing in private, those suspicions take up a lot of time and worry. The longer suspicions linger, the deeper they root into our psyche. Trust turns to distrust, and a relationship can’t exist without some trust.
What to do: If you have a nagging suspicion, it’s worth your time to figure out whether this is an issue you have with trust, or if your partner is giving you a valid reason to be suspicious. Either way, don’t ignore it, that’s a recipe for disaster.
Lying
Everybody lies. Everybody. We lie by omission, we tell white lies, and sometimes we lie right at each other. The problem with having a habit of lying is that every time you get tripped up (and you will), it disintegrates trust.
What to do: It’s all about living a truthful life. It’s not easy, but there is a great Huffington Post article about it.
Forgetting to be grateful
Couples do for each other. Big things, little things, many things every day. If a couple takes those things for granted and fails to show gratitude, the tiny things may dry up over time. Imagine looking back on how sweet your relationship used to be, while now feeling cold and distant. Maintaining gratitude can help prevent that.
What to do: make a habit of finding something to be grateful for. It may not always be easy but finding a small something every day, and expressing that gratitude out loud, encourages your partner to keep up the good work.
Finding out what negative habits exist in your relationship and working to change them will keep your relationships brighter, happier, and more positive – something we all want.
The ideas in this article are the opinion of the writer.