The Truth About Being A Good Leader
Myth
It’s not possible to learn how to be a dynamic leader.
Truth
Leadership presence can be cultivated and is available to me.
Leading with presence is all about the signals you send out. It is how you portray yourself—through your words, actions, and appearance—as someone whom others trust and want to follow.
Many men and women buy into the myth that the presence exhibited by prominent leaders is something they were born with. In reality, this is a skill like any other; it can be cultivated with awareness and dedicated practice. It requires you to be authentic, own your strengths as well as your weaknesses, and speak up on important issues.
To instill trust and engage others, you must project strength and decisiveness no matter how difficult the challenge is. You must also remain true to your authentic self, which can make acting like you have everything under control when you don’t feel like you do tricky. Take a look at the examples below and consider, would you be able to maintain poise and control?
Challenge
You need to share some bad news with your team.
- Hold yourself back
You tell them what’s going on in a low tone and make little eye contact. You don’t wait to take questions and leave as soon as you can. - Lead with poise
You are direct and to the point. Your tone is firm but empathetic and you occasionally offer a smile.
Challenge
A conflict between people you supervise has come to your attention. It’s been going on for days.
- Hold yourself back
These are two adults. Letting them deal with it themselves is better than getting caught in the crossfire. - Lead with poise
You get both parties together and hear both sides. You acknowledge where each is coming from and help lead them to a compromise.
Challenge
You have been asked to step in for your boss, who is out ill, and give a speech to shareholders this evening. You have never done anything like that before.
- Hold yourself back
You doubt that you will be able to do a good job because you’re not a public speaker. You try to get someone to cover for you. - Lead with poise
You get on the phone and set up a coaching session. You go over the speech a few times with your coach. You feel a bit nervous but know you can deliver.
Adapted from The Confidence Myth: Why Women Undervalue Their Skills, and How to Get Over It, by Helene Lerner, Berrett-Koehler Publishers, 2015.
Be people sensitive
Know your audience (whether one or many) and understand how you need to communicate in order to bring about change.
Learn to artfully listen
Go beyond the words people are saying to know what they are really feeling.
Observe powerful women and note the way they dress
What makes them look like leaders? Can you see yourself dressing in a similar way? If not, how would you dress differently?
Become more self-aware
When you have to handle a stressful situation, own how you feel before you take action. When you are being authentic, you’ll more easily be able to maintain your poise.