Why Holding On Holds You Back (3 Ways To Let Go)
You’ve put your heart and soul into a dream, but your priorities shifted, and your dreams are on the back-burner. Because you’re holding to this never-to-be dream, you’re not present to the life you now live.
You cling to anger, or fear, or the past.
Are you a holder-oner?
Do you hold on more than you need to? Why, and what does it cost you?
Here’s how to know you need an emotional/mental spring cleaning.
- You frequently reference the past.
- You use past experiences as a justification for your current actions.
- You hold on to an old hurt, going over it again and again in your mind.
- You just can’t let go – of things, old relationships, grudges, or habits that no longer serve you.
Holding on holds us back; the past dominates your present and limits you, draining your energy. When you bring anger, bitterness, or doubt forward into new relationships or experiences, you stay stuck.
Have the life you want by being present to the life you have.
Letting go gives you freedom. And you know how to do it — What do you do before moving to a new apartment or house? You let go of things, giving them away or selling them.
If you hesitate, ask yourself, “if not now, when?” When will you let your children play outside unattended? How will you safeguard the situation or let them develop independence? When will you drop the grudge? When will you decide the past no longer matters, that you’re not the person you were, and you can leave those memories and history on the banks of the moving stream that is your forward journey.
3 strategies
Create closure
Write a letter about the situation or person. You don’t need to mail it, just get your thoughts on paper, seal it in an envelope, and file it way. It’s done. Decide you’ll no longer pick at that scab or turn the situation over and over again. You’re DONE.
Gain from it
What’s the lesson or insight you’ve learned? What did it mean to you? What do you get from holding on to the memory? Is the memory moving your forward or holding you back? Does it create value or burden? Once you decide what you’ve learned from the person or situation, your insight becomes your springboard for growth.
Forgive
Forgive the other person — you’ve made mistakes too. Most importantly, forgive yourself; what you did was the best you could do at the time. The gain? The heavy gray storm clouds vanish, leaving a clear sky.