When something goes wrong in a relationship, the first person we may want to blame is ourselves. After all, we want to give our partner the benefit of the doubt in the beginning of a relationship, and hope for the best. But what if you aren’t the one to blame?
An insecure man will belittle women and play mind games to manipulate women into thinking that she is less than her self-worth. With these mind games,men can make women doubt themselves and feel guilty. So before you start pointing fingers at yourself, take a closer look at these mind games an insecure man might be using on you.
The Blame Game
In most relationships, blame can fall on both partners, and each individual will work towards a solution together. However, if you feel that your partner is placing all the blame on you, it may be a form of manipulation. Putting the blame on someone else may be a form of projection of self-consciousness, in other words, they may pick at your faults instead of their own.
If you feel that your partner is trying to blame you for everything, try communicating these feelings to others close around you. This can be either with a therapist, friend, family member, anyone who can listen to your feelings without judgment. If you are responsible for some issues, it is important to take ownership of that blame, however, you should never take responsibility for faults that are not your own.
The Shame Game
Once blame has been placed, a typical followup action will be shame. Shame can be painful and often feel humiliating with repeated offense, and an insecure man will use this against you to get what he wants. Consistent shaming puts down one partner while lifting the other up, an often harmful and toxic sign of manipulation. If your partner is constantly trying to place blame and shame on you for it, walk away and don’t buy into it.
Shame often comes from the same place as projection; it is a manipulation tool designed out of fear and desperation to lower your own character and keep you dependent on them. Don’t engage into the shame, as feeding into it can turn it into a vicious and constant cycle of emotional abuse.
The Fame Game
With both shame and blame comes guilt over success. A manipulator will often project their insecurities of failure onto you, guilting you into not feeling adequate enough. They can lie to you and throw their insecurities and problems at you to conceal their own insecurities and feelings of inadequacy. If your partner is using you to feed their own ego, you may want to confide in someone you can trust, as mentioned before.
Even though you may want to help this person, an insecure man will use your sympathy and feelings of guilt to pull you deeper into a more vicious cycle. If anyone in your life uses you as a pedestal for their own ego, it may be time to walk away and surround yourself with people who will love and appreciate you.