Men might not always be easy to read. Did you know that he often feels inadequate, like nothing he does is good enough for you and the family? It’s true. Here are some things to look for and some ways you can help him feel more confident.
You are his “world”
That may sound nice, but think for a second what that would be like. It would be like having a puppy jumping on your 24/7 because you are the only thing in its universe. That gets old fast.
If a man in your life puts all of his focus on you, your wants and needs, and forgets about his own desires, goals and plans, then he is probably overcompensating. A healthy relationship requires healthy partners—that means having interests aside from each other. Sure, he should worship you as well, but maybe just half the day ;).
What to do: Encourage him to pursue his own interests. If he knows you WANT him to develop himself more, he’ll be more likely to.
He doesn’t take criticism well
A man who feels like he’s not stacking up for whatever reason would be devastated if you told him, “You’re not making me happy.” UGH! Crushed! Well sometimes when you say, “You forgot to take out the garbage this morning” to the insecure man, it sounds a lot like “You don’t make me happy.”
What to do: Have a talk. It’s important that your partner knows that getting feedback, getting a reminder or even getting scolded is not the same as you being dissatisfied. Nobody’s perfect after all.
He checks up on you too much
He might check your e-mail or your browser history, or look over your shoulder while you’re texting. He’ll do this because he is assuming he is not giving you everything you need, and therefore you must be looking for satisfaction elsewhere.
Not only is this sad, it’s insulting … except of course when he’s right.
What to do: Be transparent. If your digital or online life is not a big deal, make sure he knows it. Everyone has a right to privacy (except toddlers – you can spy on them as much as you want) and that needs to be respected. Respect, however, requires trust—and trust is gained through transparency and time.
He’s on the edge of walking out
You know, at some point, this becomes emotional blackmail. Look, if he is really insecure and doesn’t feel like he’s doing a good enough job as your mate, that is ultimately his problem.
What to do: What any of us can always do is to be honest, upfront, and to create an environment where you’ll both feel safe being vulnerable.
