It’s not you; it’s me—the most clichéd breakup line of all time. There is a reason people hate being on the receiving end of this phrase so much; it’s because a breakup takes two people. But in some cases, it really is more about us than it is about you. The guy we are leaving didn’t really do anything wrong, and we still love him, but there is just something fundamentally wrong about our pairing, and we have to do something about it. So here are five reasons women give up on the men they love.
If they don’t get along with our family
Family is important. Our relationships with our family members affect every other relationship we form in our lives. Even if we are head over heels in love with someone, if our family doesn’t approve, that is a lifelong struggle to deal with if we stayed with him. It makes sense that we would choose peace with our families over all.
If they don’t support our careers
A person we are in love with obviously plays a huge role in our lives. But they don’t get to be the directors, screenwriters and producers as well. They don’t get to decide whether our careers play a supporting or main role. And we shouldn’t have to sacrifice the ensemble cast of our lives to make the story all about them.
If they don’t put themselves out there
There is a fine line between being shy and being lazy and unmotivated towards goals. If he just sits on the couch all day remaining stagnant in his life, we will eventually get sick of waiting for him to get his act together—even if we love the guy.
If they are bad influences on us
Sometimes we fall for a guy because he seems dangerous and offers us something different from anything we’ve ever experienced before. This sense of novelty is so exciting that we disregard the fact that we are behaving in ways that we don’t like. Once we pull ourselves out of this negative loop, we might think we can try to fix him. But we can’t fix him. We have to leave because we don’t want him to drag us down any further.
If they don’t have the same values as we do
Our core values do not change. Sometimes those core values are more formally outlined in a specific religion and other times they are more abstract. At the end of the day, if we see the world in a fundamentally different way than our partner, it is really hard to make it work.