As if the responsibilities of upholding the role of a single mother isn’t enough, a major concern is to survive and thrive in your position; not just for yourself, but for your child/children. It’s a daunting task that is accomplished by many mothers, although it can feel as though you were unsuccessful at times. Remind yourself of the strength it takes to overcome the many burdens you face alone. Being a single mother is empowering.
No one to tag in
You are working 24/7 and there is no “out” from your daily responsibilities. No partner to jump in and help bathe the kids, or go pick up that grocery item you forgot to purchase at the store. They may seem like minor setbacks, but when raising a family alone, they are major inconveniences. You need a breather. Yet, you know you don’t have a choice when wanting to sit back and rest. There’s no time for that. Your child’s safety and upkeep of their life and yours is too important.
Despite feeling like superwoman at times, self-doubt and guilt can override your emotions. Although you know you handle all the responsibilities, it can feel as if you aren’t doing enough. You think there is something lacking, that your child deserves better. When the truth is –– you deserve a “well done!” nudge on the back.
Missing your child when they aren’t there
It’s completely expected to miss your child if they are gone for a day or two. You are surrounded by them every day, so it can be a bit frightening to face true isolation when they aren’t present in your house. Furthermore, the idea of them spending time with the parent who does not contribute to their lives as much can be a disheartening. Especially if your child is younger, they may not fully understand the situation.
Affording food and clothes for your child is a constant worry. How will you have enough money for this month’s rent? Will the food that you bought last the entire week? You plan and organize accordingly, but life gets difficult at times, and you can’t help but to feel the pressure of not providing “enough” for your child.
Losing a sense of self
As a single mother, your focus has entirely shifted. You no longer dwell on the needs of yourself, but disregard the sense of identity that you used to have. You can’t remember the last time you did something for your own enjoyment. Ironically enough, it is during the most difficult of times that you truly discover who you are.