Does your friend constantly make fun of you, ditch you, and talk about you behind your back? Then you might be dealing with a frenemy, someone who pretends to be your friend but is actually very mean, rude, and inconsiderate. Having a negative friendship could take a mental toll on you, so here are a few tips on how to handle your frenemy:
Pinpoint your frenemy
This could be more difficult than it sounds. Realizing that a friend is toxic for you is the first step to take in changing the friendship for the best. Ask yourself these questions: Does (s)he ignore me? Does (s)he mock me in front of people? Overall, does (s)he bully me?
Ignore their comments
The best way to deal with mean people is not to acknowledge them. Sometimes, people don’t realize the fine line between joking and being rude, and silence is the best way to show that you’re annoyed. The more you ignore them, the faster they will get the hint.
Don’t stoop to their level
Fighting fire with fire just creates a bigger flame. Being mean and talking about them behind their back would just create more tension, and could lead to an explosive argument. Don’t try to give them a taste of their own medicine; it’s just not worth it.
Think about what you’ve done
We can be the frenemy and not even realize it. Try looking back on all the things you may have done that could have made your friend upset. Have you ditched them, made fun of them, or talked about them behind their back to other friends? Think about your actions and try to see where you may have done something to contribute to the conflict.
Talk to them
Try reaching out to your friend and see why they’ve been acting so different toward you. Maybe they’ve been going through a tough time and don’t mean to act that way, or maybe they had no idea that their actions were frustrating you. Talking about your issues in a nonconfrontational manner is key to building the friendship back to normal.
Try to repair the friendship
Reach out to them and Invite them out for drinks or dinner. Make plans for just the two of you, so you both have time to bond with each other and get closer. Bonding could help repair any damage done in your friendship, allowing you to move on from the frenemy phase.
Let them go
If you’ve tried everything else on this list and they still act like a frenemy, maybe it’s time to end that friendship and move on. Some people are just not worth the emotional draining. A true friend would try to patch up rough times between you, and if your frenemy isn’t willing to do that, then the best thing might be for you to stop associating with that person. It may be hard at first, but it will help you feel better in the long run.