Allison Holker has more to say about the family dynamic in the house following the passing of her husband, Stephen “tWitch” Boss.
Talking with People, Holker describes that her family is a “strong unit”, but the bond they share since losing Stephen has been “different” and took some time to adjust to.
“My kids and I always had such a strong unit,” she said, referring to her daughter Weslie, and her and Boss’ kids Maddox and Zaia, “but at this time there is just a different bond that we share. I always want to make sure that they see me really strong for them, but it’s been amazing to see that my kids are also there for me now.”
She continued, “I’m so proud of them, and of how they’re willing to feel and communicate with me. They’re open to asking me questions, and we try to find our way together. Sometimes it breaks my heart that they have to feel that pressure to take care of me, but that’s a true testament to Stephen, because that’s what he would have done.”
Holker noted the importance of mutual caring and support that she and her children are giving to each other at this very hard time in their lives. Part of this process is making sure that they continue to have a good sense of individuality and self-purpose, as well as making joyful memories despite their hardships.
“All of us finding our joy and coming together is where we’re going to find happiness as a family,” she declared.
A faithful family, Holker explained that she and her children believe that Stephen is somewhere “in the stars” and are familiarizing themselves with trying to spiritually communicate with him by going outside and speaking to the night sky.
“The reason the stars are so important to me is because that’s where we believe he is,” she admitted. “So we go out there, and we talk to him. I’ve told them if they ever need him, he’s always listening. He’s guiding and he’s protecting. We still feel his presence with us.”
His presence resides closely with the children, according to Holker, who says that each of her three kids all hold a part of Stephen’s character in their own personalities, translating into a way that his physical presence is still existing.
“Weslie is his wisdom, Maddox is his joy, and our youngest, Zaia, is his intuition,” she said. “They all have these really special, unique energies about them. They lean into it and they inspire me every single day.”
Although it took some time, the kids eventually did what they could to get back on course of living a normal life again, with the first step being getting back into school.
“Weslie was the first one to go back to school,” she started. “Seeing her be so strong, and then we got Maddox back into school, I was like, ‘Okay, my kids are feeling settled. I think I can do this too.’”
Living a “normal” life also involves finding joy in the little things again, which Allison admits can feel a bit “weird”.
“We found ourselves going over memories, and we started laughing so hard,” she said of spending time with her oldest, Weslie. “We actually questioned it at first because it almost made us feel weird to find laughter. [But] we knew that Stephen would want us to be laughing together. He was sharing in that moment with us.”
“Now in our house, laughing with the kids is such a part of everything,” she added. “It’s a part of our healing, and the giggles remind me that we’re going to be okay — and that we are okay.”
Allison and her family are finding solace in both communicating with Stephen spiritually and carrying on his legacy with their shared values and by spreading awareness on mental health, mainly through their charity the Move With Kindness Foundation, which was created in honor of Stephen and who he was to so many people around the world.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by dialing 988, text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741741 or go to 988lifeline.org.