I guess you have met at least one toxic or toxic person in your lifetime. Toxic people are hard to avoid. They can pop up anywhere — at your workplace, at home, in restaurants, literally any place you exist. Most of the time, toxic people will need to learn that they are poisonous and seek professional help. Still, there are a few things emotionally intelligent women can do to deal with toxic behavior.
Adjust your expectations
You can be a pessimist, optimist, or a realist about the situation in front of you. One of the best things to do when dealing with a toxic person is shifting your perspective. In this instance, it is crucial to see the person for who they are and adjust accordingly. Lower or adjust your expectations of the person and move on with your life. Remember, we cannot control how others feel, but we can control our reactions and feelings. The way we deal with a situation is pertinent to preserving our mental health.
Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. It pops up in many articles, but boundaries are vital to healthily dealing with life. Emotional intelligence comes with the ability to set boundaries that help you maximize your peace of mind, as stated by Medium.
When you adjust your perspective and set boundaries, you will have better peace of mind. Sure, you won’t be able to change the person in front of you, but emotionally intelligent people know that you don’t have to do this to move on with your life.
Don’t solve other people’s problems
I am guilty of doing this. You cannot fix other people. Plain and simple. People will do what they wish. To avoid stress and heartache, the best thing to do when dealing with a toxic person is to focus on yourself. Do not take responsibility for their mistakes. They have the power to undo the mistake.
If you focus so much on helping others, how will you ever have enough energy to help yourself?
Forgive, but don’t forget
When a toxic person betrays you and stabs you in the back, it is possible to forgive them. It may sound counter-intuitive, but forgiving someone is the best solution. You pardon their actions for your peace of mind, but don’t forget their actions. This way, you won’t hold onto any resentment or anger, and you will be able to adjust your actions if they betray you again.
Let go of the ego
Have you ever found yourself in an argument with someone, and they were so incredibly stubborn? The two of you were arguing and getting nowhere with the conversation, but one of you had to be the clear-cut “winner.”
Save yourself from drama and let go of your ego. You don’t need to prove you are right. If you feel the need to prove to a toxic person that you are correct, then they’ve already pulled you into their toxicity.
Have a sound support system
You can surround yourself with people who have a growth and improvement mindset. Be around people who make you happy, not stressed. When you have the right support system building you up, you progress further in life with far less drama.
Finding your happiness
When you are a people pleaser and need another person’s opinions to feel happy or satisfied, you put your happiness in their hands. Emotionally intelligent people are aware and secure in themselves. They are confident and find their happiness.
As Travis Bradberry, author of Emotional Intelligence 2.0, puts it, “When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them.”
Knowing when to walk away
Sometimes you’ve done all that you could have done, and they still get on your nerves. In situations like these, it is vital to decide: do you stay or walk away? At times, when you can’t walk away (i.e., if the toxic person is your boss), learn to distance yourself emotionally. If you can, cut ties with a negative person, you will save yourself a lot of trouble in the future.