The Police (the band, not the guys in blue) frontman and bassist Gordon “Sting” Sumner celebrated his 30th wedding anniversary last August to his wife, mother of four, actress, and film producer, Trudie Styler.
Trudie posted to her Instagram celebrating the occasion with fireworks and sparklers, with the caption reading, “30 years on…sparks still flying.”
The pair were introduced to each other in 1982, when Trudie was good friends with Sting’s now ex-wife Frances Tomelty. Unfortunately, they became lovers through infidelity, but it has proven to have been more than just a one night stand. They had genuine feelings for each other.
Two years later, Sting finalized the divorce between himself and Frances (whom he shares two kids with, Joe and Fuschia), and he and Trudie dated for the next eight years before marrying in 1992.
Neither of them have spoken much on what led them to be together, seeing as though the affair has had little impact on the integrity and duration of their marriage, with Trudie having previously said, “Neither of us are proud of a situation that happened – it just happened […] We loved each other and we lived together and then we got married and we had more kids. And that’s our life story,” per Smooth Radio.
But nonetheless, they’ve shown that they truly and deeply care about one another and have even welcomed four kids of their own, sons Jake and Giacomo, and daughters Eliot and Mickey.
Sting and Trudie credit the secret for their three-decade-long relationship to being as much friends as they are lovers. In 2020, Sting talked with People about what has made his and Trudie’s relationship last so long and why it’s so special.
“I know something about marriage,” he started. “I’ve been married to Trudie for 27 years [at the time]. People say to me, ‘How has it lasted this long?’ I say, ‘Well, it’s kind of a miracle, but we don’t take it for granted.’”
“We’re friends, too. We love each other, but we actually like each other — and that’s an important distinction there,” he explained. “Love is passion and all of that stuff, but actually liking somebody and enjoying someone’s company is something slightly different, and it lasts longer. So you can have both, and I think that’s important. Be married to your best friend.”
Two years prior, he shared a similar message – again with People – and was supported by Trudie in his belief on why their marriage has lasted so long.
“I’m married to an incredibly good husband and we’re devoted to each other,” Trudie confessed while she and her husband attended the premiere of her directorial debut for the 2018 film Freak Show. “We laugh a lot! I think that’s important in a marriage. He has my back; he’s my champion.”
“Obviously there has to be a chemistry — that’s why we can stay together for as long as we’ve been together,” she added. “We have space apart because he tours and I go and do the things that I have to do with my films — we don’t live in each other’s pockets.”
Oftentimes, couples whose relationships are born from infidelity are destined to end just as messy. But Sting and Trudie have made it work and are ever happier for it. Life can just be complicated sometimes.