Insecurities may be something that you are keenly aware of. Being mocked or ridiculed for them by a trusted person can be incredibly disheartening. When you are in a relationship, having someone kill your self-esteem, even accidentally, may make the relationship crash and burn. Here are a few signs your partner may be killing your self-esteem:
They don’t make you feel needed or wanted.
People want to feel needed in a relationship from time to time. If your partner does not encourage you or even thank you for helping (with the little things, too), it may make you feel as if you are not important. April Masini, New York-based relationship and etiquette expert of Relationship Advice Forum tells Bustle that by letting someone be the hero (in the relationship) from time to time, they are able to feel great about who they are and what they can do for you.
They don’t treat you like an adult: they talk to you like you’re a child.
No one wants to be talked down to like a kid when they are in a functioning and healthy relationship. If your partner is talking to you more like a child instead of an independent adult with your own thoughts and feelings, you may lose a sense of yourself while in the relationship.
They are overly controlling: they don’t take your opinions into account at all.
When your partner is dominant and tends to control everything in the relationship without so much as a second thought to you, this may diminish your self-esteem. When they control everything in the relationship, this generally means that they do not care for your opinions. It has also been shown that a partner who controls everything — from rent and budgets to household decisions — this may be a common sign for a physically abusive relationship down the road.
They flirt with other people in front of you.
While flirting may not seem like a big deal to some, to others it is a sign of emotional cheating. According to Rabbi Shlomo Slatkin, MS, LCPC, “[Flirting] could be viewed as a breach of fidelity because you are showing interest in someone else.” When your partner constantly flirts with others in front of you, this could mean that he does not take your feelings into consideration and wants to make you jealous. By flirting with others, he may be showing how much of a commodity he is to others, unconsciously stating that you are lucky to be with him.
They don’t include you in their day to day plans: you are low on their priority list.
When your partner constantly chooses a night out with friends over spending time with you, this may make you feel like you are not desirable or important enough to be included in day to day plans. While you shouldn’t spend all day and every day with your partner, it’s good to schedule some time alone for both of you to have your emotional, mental and physical needs met.
Disclaimer: This article is in part the opinion of the author.