You’ve heard the statistic that 50% of all marriages end in divorce. But how many of those couples get back together?
According to research obtained by Psychology Today, “between 10-15% of couples reconcile after they separate. However, only about 6% of couples marry each other again after they divorce. Of those who remarry each other, about 30% go on to divorce each other a second time.”
Even though that 6% of couples is a small margin, 70% of them stay together, which is quite impressive. But what is it that makes these couples gravitate back towards each other and want to try again?
Jamie Kurtz, a family law attorney, says that couples give it another shot when they’ve recognized past mistakes and were willing to work through them together. After all, if the issue (or issues) that ended the marriage the first time aren’t resolved, then the couple would simply enter this vicious cycle of reunion and separation based on an aspect of their relationship that forever lingers.
Psychology Today suggests some of the most common reasons for divorce are financial stress, lack of communication, betrayal or infidelity, lack of intimacy, substance abuse, and neglect (either of the partner or of their shared children).
Considering these are all pretty important issues that anyone can experience, why bother giving it another go? The answer to that is complicated and can vary greatly based on the reason for the separation.
A lot of couples will try to rekindle when they share children together. Amid a separation, two parents are never truly separated, as they both have an obligation to look after their kids.
Medium gives some reasons as to why kids keep couples together, with them regarding, “education, behavioral problems, illnesses, economic issues,” which all can keep the parents in touch. As a result, feelings can either rekindle or never truly go away.
This circumstance can be deeply saddening and difficult to work through, for both parties. If the partner facing addiction gets to a place where they achieve sobriety, the relationship has a chance of being rebuilt, if the aggrieved party is willing to make amends.
Financial problems are the number one issue that dissolves marriages. Often, even well-matched partners have different ideas of financial comfort. And if one partner, for example, finds a better paying job or becomes more savvy with their existing money, it is possible that the problems the couple previously faced become manageable, and the relationship is mended.
If you’re considering rekindling with an ex-spouse, consider couple’s counseling before the alter, or else ensure an open and constructive dialogue.