We learn a lot about ourselves when we’re in a relationship, but we discover even more when we’re single. Whether you’ve just ended a relationship or you’ve been single for a while, these are some of the important things to remember:
Honestly is the best policy. No matter how the breakup went, being honest about everything is the first step. Being honest with yourself and your ex-partner clears the air for everyone, making it easier to move forward.
The break up does not include the family. It doesn’t matter if your family thought you were going to marry each other. They are not apart of the relationship, so do not let them make you feel guilty.
To stay friends, or not to stay friends? That is the question. It all depends on the situation. Sometimes, if they’ve hurt you, people truly don’t deserve your time. But remember, if it is important to you, it is possible to stay friends.
“Green with envy” is not your color. Their happiness does not have to equal your unhappiness. If they seem to have moved on faster than you, that’s fine. Everyone moves at their own pace, and you’ll never get to that point if you dwell on whatever the other person is doing.
It’s okay not to want to date for awhile. Don’t feel pressure to “get back out there.” It’s okay to take a break for awhile if you don’t feel ready. No one is rushing you, even if it feels that way.
You have every right to cancel story time. You don’t have to tell anyone anything. If you don’t want to dish the details to a nosy relative, or even your best friend, you don’t have to. You can keep what happened in your relationship between you and your ex.
It’s okay to miss them. This does not mean that you should get back together with them. It’s normal to reminisce in memories where you were once happy, but trust that the path you’re on now is the one you’re meant to be on.
There is peace in freedom. While being alone can be sad at first, you’ll eventually come to realize that having your own freedom is very peaceful. After talking things out and compromising with your partner for so long, making decisions by completely by yourself feels weird – but it’s a feeling you probably never realized you missed.
You are responsible for yourself, and no one else. Now, it’s time for you. Go back to your roots, pick up new hobbies or rediscover old ones. This is your time to better yourself, and a good distraction from feeling sad and thinking about the past.
Hate is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do but it gets you nowhere. No hard feelings. No grudges. No “woe is me.” Whatever happened, happened. Falling into the “I hate my ex” trap is very easy, but ultimately it will not help you feel better; and it certainly won’t help you move on.