The heart wants what it wants. Unfortunately, sometimes we get so caught up in the emotion and excitement of love that we fail to recognize that someone just isn’t a good fit. When we fall in love, it’s hard to imagine that someone we care so much about doesn’t feel the same. Or maybe they do, but there are other factors that make a relationship less than ideal. Don’t let infatuation prevent you from seeing these 10 signs that are right in front of you that reveal you might be in love with the wrong person.
They don’t reciprocate
While everyone deals with relationships differently, a key signal that you’re in love with the wrong person is that you’re putting in a lot more effort. It’s not even a matter of having different love languages – if your partner is generally apathetic about showing affection and makes zero attempts at improving your relationship, it’s not a good sign. You shouldn’t be spending a disproportionate amount of time and energy while he just goes with the flow.
They make excuses
The bottom line is, if someone wants to be with you they will do anything to be with you. Yes, life happens and things come up – but if excuses are the norm instead of the exception, it says something about your partner’s devotion (or lack of).
Your values aren’t aligned
Everyone always says that opposites attract – but that’s not necessarily true. In order for a relationship to really work, you have to be similar in a fundamental way and your core values have to be in sync. They are a part of who you are and how you function. If there are things that neither of you is willing to compromise on, it’s best that those things are akin.
You don’t connect on a deeper level
You obviously can’t make a deep connection with everyone you meet or even with every friend you have. But when it comes to romantic relationships, a profound bond is important in cultivating a fulfilling and satisfying relationship. It’s more than just knowing things about each other, you have to feel like you are heard and seen. You might not think so in the moment, but in the long run, an inability to connect could be fatal.
Fighting is futile
Arguments are a normal – even healthy – part of being in a relationship. However, you should be able to solve issues in a productive manner and face obstacles as a team. Constantly brushing problems under the rug, yelling, name-calling or bullying are signs of a problem.
You keep secrets from each other
Trust in a relationship is paramount. It says volumes about your relationship if you feel the need things to keep things from your partner. Likewise, if you suspect your partner is keeping secrets from you. Be authentic and demand authenticity – you’ll both be better off for it.
The past doesn’t stay there
To quote the Lion King, “the past can hurt.” And while it’s important to learn and grow from our prior choices, our past shouldn’t make regular appearances in your day-to-day life and that’s especially true for your relationships. If you’ve still got an ex on your mind or your partner can’t seem to let you forget a poor decision you made a month ago, it’s time to reevaluate where this relationship is heading.
The future isn’t appealing
Don’t feel like you have to start picking out your furniture or fight about baby names to know that your relationship is meant to be – you don’t. But you should have a sense of looking forward to some sort of future. If you don’t see your partner – or they don’t see you – as part of the future, you might not be.
You don’t feel secure in your relationship
Aside from the usual ups and downs characteristic of relationships and life, you should feel stable in your union. You shouldn’t feel unsure about how long your relationship will last or be constantly worried about your partner’s commitment to you.
You’re not actually happy
Each relationship has its own unique set of problems. You can’t escape that, no matter who you’re in love with. But you want to make sure that at the end of the day, you feel good about yourself your life, and your partner. If something feels off, pay attention.