Heterosexual men find women to be very attractive – but not all the time. Believe it or not, there are plenty of ways that a woman can “turn off” a man (but that’s a different article). Let’s talk here about the things that men find irresistible in virtually all women.
Independent people aren’t clingy – no one likes clingy – not for long anyway. By being self-sufficient and able to entertain your own mind, you become someone men want to win over or someone they want to be like.
Sense of humor
I don’t mean you should be a comedian – men might steer away from a “performer” – but if you have a good sense of humor and you like to laugh, then people (and men are people) will want to be around you.
When you know your own self-worth, it makes it easier for others to know it too. Despite some stereotypes, men don’t really want a demure, submissive woman. Men (the real ones) prefer a female partner who knows the value of who she is.
If you like pizza, get excited about it. If you like sex, let him know! If you feel strongly about the plight of indigenous peoples, be active and outspoken. This is a sign of strength and, it just so happens that men admire that.
Nobody likes being around negative people, not for any serious length of time anyway, but everyone likes to be around someone who is happy. If your smile makes me smile, then I want to be around you. If you’re faking your smile, people can see it and will shy away from you. So “don’t worry, be happy.”
Your brain is, thankfully, something you can exercise and nourish. Men like women who are smart, but it’s another to be stuck up about it or talk down to people; that would cancel out your smarts.
Be nice to those you don’t have to be nice to. People will appreciate your good nature, empathy and compassion. Happiness is the way you feel; kindness is the way you make others feel.
A good communicator
Being socially awkward can be cute, but cute doesn’t really last. Being able to express yourself in a smart and confident way so that people know what you want and who you are, that is magnetic! Think about what you are saying and what it really means. Practice. Great communicators aren’t born – they’re made.
What is femininity? I don’t think there’s one universal answer. But I do know that men who like women, like women who are more girly than boyish. It’s not about how you dress or how you vote, it’s about being OK with your own compassion and understanding, and maybe liking pink I guess.
My grandmother, at a wedding when I was still just a nervous adolescent, told me that “grace is how you walk across a room.” I admit I didn’t get it at the time, but I get it now. It’s deliberate movement, dexterity and simplicity. It’s not flashy and it doesn’t purposely seek attention – but it does capture it.
Maturity is acting age-appropriate. When a 5-year-old asks you a serious political question, they come off as “too mature.” When Grandpa shows up at a party wearing clothes from his teenage grandson’s closet, that’s immature. You can still be the life of the party without being vulgar or childish.