At some point, your partner will do or say something that makes you feel uneasy or upset. Confronting them doesn’t have to be a nasty process. When you have your partner’s undivided attention, here are some things you can say to help resolve your troubles.
Be upfront with them about your feelings, but make sure to use the right words. Tell them what they did that hurt you without criticizing them. Don’t lash out at them—especially if they didn’t do it on purpose.
Do: “It hurt me when you didn’t tell me you were going to be home late from work last night; especially after I called/texted, and you didn’t respond.
Don’t: “Why didn’t you tell me you were gonna be late last night? What’s the matter with you? Why didn’t you answer your damn phone?!?!?”
Tell them why this concerns you
After you’ve confronted them about their actions, be sure to let them know why the situation has you feeling the way you do.
Do: “After it was getting so late, I became worried about your safety.”
Don’t: “Stupid, do you know how worried I was?!”
Use reassuring phrases
It all comes down to what you say and how you say it. A gentle tone, as well as words, will help the conversation more than accusatory ones ever will.
Do: “I know you’re a hard worker/I know how important your job is, but I would really appreciate if in the future you would give me a quick heads up if something like this happens again.”
Don’t: “You act like it’s so difficult to send even a quick text.”
It’s important to be honest
Great relationships don’t just happen overnight. One of the fundamentals of a lasting relationship is honesty. Establish that you want to have a relationship where you’re free to express yourself. Encourage your partner to let you know when you’ve hurt them.
Don’t leave things incomplete
Don’t just let it all out and then slam the door in their face. Give your partner a chance to explain themselves. This will also be a great time for you both to figure out how to deal with other difficult situations in the future.