Shame and guilt are often confused with each other, and yet they are completely different in how they make us feel about ourselves.
Guilt serves to remind us that we have moved away from our value, and have perhaps made a choice that was not aligned with our best selves. This allows you to acknowledge and learn from the mistake.
Shame, on the other hand, just makes you feel bad about and devalue yourself. That is why Warrior Women around the world say “no thank you” to shame!
The difference is critical when you put it into practice.
Guilt looks like this: “I made a bad choice; that was not very insightful of me.”
And this is shame: “I made a bad choice. I am the stupidest person I know.”
Three reasons why the warrior woman doesn’t buy into shame?
1) The Warrior Woman KNOWS herself. She knows her strengths and weaknesses. If she made a mistake, she can bounce back, and find a lesson, and grow from it. Or get the help she needs.
2) The Warrior Woman LOVES herself. She knows she’s both lovable and valuable. She can make a bad choice just like anyone else; it doesn’t reduce her intrinsic goodness or what she’s capable of accomplishing.
3) The Warrior Woman is into BEING herself. She has learned and loved herself to the point where she is comfortable being her true self in the world. When she goes down the wrong path, it is never long before she checks in with herself. As she self-corrects, she also knows how to rise above and forgive herself.
Forgiveness and self-acceptance are the Warrior Woman’s antidotes to shame. She won’t be taking that poison pill anymore.
Need support managing fear and shame? Please share your thoughts in the comment section or at Choice over Chance. You can follow me today @CoachLeena, I look forward to hearing from you.
Leena Roy, CFA/CPC is a Leadership & Life Coach. Choice over Chance is designed to elevate and empower Mid-level Managers & all Professionals to achieve their highest potential.