Research shows that too often women are more worried about being liked than respected. This desire to be liked can take us to extremes and be detrimental to our success.
Being liked is not bad and it is important as a leader. But when being liked makes us compromise our values and our personal dreams, we end up not liking ourselves as we watch other people attain the goals we desire.
Here are five signs you are compromising yourself too much.
1. People no longer ask you strategic business questions, but rely on you to perform unimportant tasks because they know you’ll say yes.
2. Co-workers and managers assume you agree with them on issues you don’t because you didn’t want to speak up in opposition.
3. Other people are taking credit for ideas you’ve shared and you say nothing. You rationalize by tell yourself “it doesn’t matter who gets credit as long as it gets done.”
4. You always say yes to more work, and are wondering where your life and time went at the end of each day or week.
5. You feel bad and wish you had taken an action, spoken up, or shared a new idea but are now hesitant to be seen as a disruptor or ‘troublemaker.”
If any of these signs describe you, it’s time to get into action and stop.
Easier said than done, you think?
My next post will provide 5 actions you can take to change and get the respect you deserve from yourself and others.
Meanwhile, take time to observe your behavior, thoughts and feelings around over-compromising. Jot down when you feel stretched, the specifics of the situation, what you say and what you do.
Look for themes or repeat situations and read my next post to help you take charge of yourself and your career.
Simma Lieberman is a speaker, consultant and coach in diversity, inclusion and executive leadership. Contact her now at firstname.lastname@example.org, or viisit her website www.simmalieberman.com.