Sometimes when we want to bring people close to us, we may do just the opposite and push them away. Is it the fear of intimacy? Is it that we feel unworthy of being loved? Is it that we just are not used to someone who is really there for us? It may be a little of all of these. But what’s most important is HOW NOT TO PUSH THEM AWAY…here are some suggestions.
Don’t react. When someone tries to get close to you, you may have a tough time accepting it. Instead of saying something hurtful or dumb to create a distance, breathe deeply and focus on what you really feel. Say something kind and considerate, something that will make them feel good.
Handle your anxiety. If your past experience leads you to believe that they will not be here to stay, question yourself–“how do I know that,” ask yourself, “is this really true?” The answer is, no you don’t know that this person will behave the same way, so why not give them the benefit of the doubt?
Be sincere and compliment them. They must be doing a lot right. You may not be in the habit of acknowledging this but start to. Each day, tell them at least 3 things you respect about them. It’s like watering a plant, we all need some watering–to know that we are having an impact, that we are cared about.