Our anxiety, if left unchecked, can push people away. Here are some things to watch out for in a work relationship, friendship, and a romantic relationship.
Work Relationship: When we feel that we are not getting recognition, a promotion, or more money, our anxiety can prod us to behave in a way we will later regret. We may blurt out an inappropriate comment because we are trying to cover how we really feel. Helpful: When you are feeling anxious, take a moment to look at what’s really going on. For example, are you angry? Knowing the whole story will give us some distance to act strategically.
Friendship: When a friend hurts you, intentionally or unintentionally, it can be particularly painful. Of course, anxiety can arise–one of our important relationships feels unsafe. Helpful: Deal with it, talk to your friend. Speak in “I” sentences, i.e., When I learned about _____, I felt __________. Don’t let your hurt build up without dealing with the issue.
Romantic Relationship: You found out that your significant other has not been truthful with you. The result? Anger and anxiety. When this happens, you begin to doubt everything that he said, and things begin to snowball. How can you trust him again? That’s a good question. Helpful: When you approach him, make sure it’s well thought out. After all, what transpires can mean the end of the relationship. Try not to go on and on about how you feel. Say what you need to say, then listen.