As women, we are the nurturers. We take care of our families, our homes, and responsibilities at the office. We give a lot and perhaps don’t take in as much as we give out.
But giving can be tricky–and sometimes we may be guilty of controlling (and try to convince ourselves that it’s really caring). But is it? See if you can identify with the situations below.
1. You try to convince a significant other to do it your way.
You feel that by showing them a better way you are expressing your care and concern. WRONG!
2. You want your children not to leave the house in such a mess.
You insist that they clean up now. After all, their friends are coming over and you want them to enjoy their time together. (Why should you care, if they don’t?)
3. You like to pay it forward and people know to call you for advice.
When someone explains a situation and it goes against what you think is best, you insist that they are setting themselves up for failure. But is that really true, or do you think “I could never do it that way, how could they?” Why does your way have to be the best way?
4. You think the best way to take care of yourself is to show up for a friend in need–that would help her and be an act of self-care for you.
But is it really? By doing for her when you are “running on empty” is absolutely not a caring thing to do for yourself. She will survive, but will you. You can say “no” for now, but be there for her in the future, when you can really be available.