We know dating may already be hard enough. Here are the five things to avoid in the process:
Dating someone you’re obviously not compatible with
Dreamy eyes? A smile that makes you weak in the knees? Stop. Just stop. Being with someone just because they are nice to look at, or because you like the idea of them, will never last. You may look cute in your photos together, but you’ll get bored really fast.
Being who you think your partner wants you to be
It’s not just cheesy movie advice: you have to be yourself. Pretending you are someone you are not will not only give your S/O a false idea of you but will also take a toll on your mental health. If you have to overthink every text you send or have to calculate every response you give during a date, for fear of not being perceived as “cool,” “chill,” or whatever you want to be for this other person, you will be adding unneeded stress into your life. Love isn’t easy but, at the very least, the conversation should be.
Trying to create the “perfect” partner
It’s OK to want the best for your partner, but be careful not to overstep your boundaries. Relationships aren’t perfect because people aren’t. Accept that you and your partner are human beings and that it isn’t healthy to control the other’s behavior. Too much critiquing can hurt their self-esteem or, worse, make them resent you. If you want a partner to accept you for who you are, you have to award the same courtesy.
Failing the art of patience
If your partner isn’t ready to be official, have sex, move in together, get married, etc, don’t push it. You should always inform your partner about your wants and needs but, if they need more time, you have to respect that. No one likes to feel pressured into decisions that make them uncomfortable, and it could hurt the relationship long term.
Being a “yes man”
If you say yes to everything your partner wants, you will experience elevated stress levels and anxiety. Remember that relationships are a two-way street. If you consistently neglect your needs in favor of your partner’s, you will feel unfulfilled and burnt out. It’s OK to say “no.” If you are with a good partner, they will be more than understanding.