You know it’s not smart, you know it’s not wise, yet you can’t stop checking his Instagram. He hasn’t reached out after the first or second date but you feel compelled to check up on his nights out, his cat, his apartment’s sunset views. TMI!!! Checking up maniacally on someone who hasn’t reached out is self- torture. It’s hard to give it up but ask a friend to hold you accountable for helping you get over this obsessive behavior. Remember, someone worthy of you will actively show you they care.
Can’t let go
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift, that’s why it’s called the present. Keeping drama alive by reliving it is not a good idea. People addicted to drama constantly rehash stories from the past and keep the story in the present. If we could go back and change things, I’d be all about it. But we can’t! We can apologize, clean things up, and keep our eyes in the direction that we’re moving – forward!
The constant complainer
Some people thrive on complaining, in a constant loop of woe-is-me, my-life-sucks, that never ends. Constant complaining enables people to stay stuck in their drama. If you want a more enjoyable life, break the cycle and start with a daily gratitude list. Write down five things at the end of the day for which you feel grateful. From a Quantum perspective, the Universe doesn’t “get” that you’re any more grateful for a delicious cappuccino than winning the lottery. The energy is the same….it’s gratitude. Try it for two weeks and remember, each night the list has to be different!
You secretly delight in undermining
Let’s face it. We all like to be in on gossip, but the highly dramatic types love to share these tidbits under the guise of, “You know I don’t like to start trouble, but . . .” Beware the Negative Nancys. If someone is constantly sharing others’ private and confidential information with you, it won’t be long before they’re sharing your information! As hard as it is to zip the lip, do it. We all have a trusted few we feel we can share anything with. Keep the personal stuff within a very tight inner circle or be ready to lose friendships.
You don’t understand me!
A hallmark of the Drama Queen is she rarely feels understood by others. You hear a lot of criticism as to how nobody “gets me,” “cares about me,” “listens to me” – they’ll even turn on you. Truthfully, none of us can truly and completely understand another’s feelings. We can empathize, we can sympathize, we can listen. When dealing with the D.Q., tell her, You’re right, I don’t completely understand how you feel. But I know you well enough to tell you everything is not all negative. Then, start asking her questions about things you know are good, like her nice apartment, her loving family, her artistic talent, whatever it is she needs to acknowledge. The questions may help get her out of the weeds and back on track.
Lynne Goldberg, MCC
Lynne operates Lynne Goldberg Coaching and she is available for personal, career,
executive and corporate coaching and consulting.
You can reach Lynne at firstname.lastname@example.org.