An independent woman or alpha female is very valuable to every family, organization, and friendship circle she is a part of. She is a leader – the one who drives results, makes decisions, and produces gatherings and events. She knows what she wants, and she wants things to be delivered with excellence. It might seem like she is difficult to deal with because she wants things her way and is not the ‘warm and fuzzy’ type. Here are five things to know about the independent women in your life so you can love them and work with them.
1. They need things to be done right
The independent woman’s intentions are noble because everyone benefits when things are done ‘right.’ She wants to help people make more money, reach their goals and be happy. She wants things to turn out well so others can meet their needs.
She feels a tremendous sense of responsibility, causing intense internal pressure. She is afraid that if things don’t go right, something bad will happen. She may have had past experiences where she had to make sure that everything worked out because no one else was there to do it (and if she didn’t prop people up, the family or organization may have fallen apart). And if negative consequences happen, in her perception, “it will be her fault.”
2. They need you not to take things personally
Even though they are competitive, independent women usually have good intentions. They may sometimes say things that sound dismissive or critical but they need you to take feedback in the spirit it was given, and not take it personally. Instead, think to yourself, she is so passionate about what she believes in … her statements are about the task and not about me. Try to appreciate her strengths and good intentions.
3. They need appreciation
Independent women are hard on the outside and ‘mushy’ on the inside. They are not actively seeking your validation but inside they want and need what all humans do: to be appreciated, to know that their efforts are noticed, to know they are good at what they do and to know they are ‘lovable.’ On some level, all of her actions are in the hope that she will be recognized as someone who’s more than enough as a person.
4. They need to learn from you
An independent woman takes the lead but is not always the expert. She will call upon and respect someone who is. She will seek you out if you are a technical expert, a great yoga instructor or someone with shortcuts for common recipes. Also, she always steps up as a leader, and is often right – but not always! Confident in her knowledge and critical thinking, she won’t ask for input. You can be enormously helpful to her if you present information or a point of view that can help her. You don’t want to show her up, but if you express your ideas firmly, with clear evidence, and an intention to be helpful, she’s likely to listen!
5. They need you to respect their self-care time
Independent women are efficient and highly productive. They know what they want. They build their self-care time into their day, whether it’s working out or simply watching their favorite show. They put their all into each day to work with focus and intensity, so they need their time to rejuvenate. In order to sustain the level of contribution they make and the way they provide for others, they need you to respect their self-care time.