As many of us transition back to more traditional office settings and new ways of working, we’re also figuring out what we need and want in order to do our jobs while feeling safe and fulfilled. Over the last 18 months, our priorities may have shifted, and we may even…
Sharon Melnick
Ph.D, Executive Coach
As CEO of her firm Horizon Point Inc, Sharon Melnick, PhD is an internationally renowned speaker and sought after trainer. To learn more, visit her website: sharonmelnick.com
Entries Sharon Melnick
When it comes to subtle acts of exclusion, you may be surprised to learn you have more control than you think you do. Exercising this control will help you own your power. What are ‘Microaggressions’? Whether they are purposeful or unintentional, microaggressions are slights, insults, invalidations, or exclusionary acts that…
At the beginning of the pandemic, it is likely that we felt anxious as we transitioned from working in traditional office spaces to working out of our homes. This change took some getting used to, but after a while; we gradually acclimated to our new remote work environments. Now, many…
You might have felt it was hard enough networking to advance when people met in person, but now most networking is virtual. Here are 5 approaches you can use for networking to advance in a virtual world: 1. Change your mindset to “Help them to Help you” If…
‘Being female’ in the workplace often means that you may experience bias in varying forms throughout the day. You know that you are being subject to bias if you have an intuition that something feels ‘off’ in the way you are treated in the situation. You aren’t seen or feel…
Simply making it through the day feels like enough of a challenge these days. To have courage seems like something you need extra energy for, or a quality to admire in others…but not something that is convenient for you today. Yet we need courage in these times. Why? Courage…
You wake up and commute 20 feet to work at your computer. Your children are 1.5x more likely to interrupt you as a woman – not a male spouse. You’re worried about not having enough time to fulfill your duties at work. Days blur from one to the next. The…
If you have high functioning anxiety, it can feel like a big struggle to get through the day. Even though you are able to accomplish tasks and connect well in social situations, inside you are a 'bundle of nerves.' If you spin with mental and emotional energy, you might feel wired, or…
When you are angry or frustrated at other people's rude behavior it can make you get a heated feeling. Stay calm so you can think through your response. Try Cooling Breath. This is a reverse breath where you breathe through your mouth as if you are sipping through a straw. Then breathe…
The relationship you really wanted didn't work out… Your company is moving offices to a location much further away than your current commute… You wanted to play on a sports team but you got injured and can't… Trying to get pregnant isn't working out on the timeline you had hoped……
The image of strong women used to be the 'ice queen' living an empty or lonely life. Or the woman who needed to have it all together by being perfect. But in our new paradigm, a strong woman is someone who is capable of accomplishing big things AND get what…
After a while you start to avoid them... The "Debbie Downer". The "glass half full" person. The one who always complains whether things are going well or not. A cloud of negativity swirls around them, and you don't want to absorb it. Here are 7 ways to deal with any…
Here's how to tell if a relationship you're in is "Love" or "Abuse": 1. Love allows--Abuse controls When truly loved, you are seen for both your best and worst qualities. You can be fully yourself. In a loving relationship, there can be some quality of wanting to please the other…
While being a “strong woman” may seem like an inherent personality trait, it’s actually a series of qualities and habits that are practiced over and over again. After all, Beyonce wasn’t built in a day. If you’re ready to take control of your self-worth, your ambition, and your time, read…
The “frenemy”. We’ve all been there. You go to lunch or coffee to catch up with an old friend and find yourself feeling more drained and negative than when you walked in. There’s something about time with this friend that doesn’t feel...well...like time with a friend. Perhaps you love the…
She seems to have her act together and I don't…She has a better body than I do… She's getting more clients than I am. These are the thoughts you have when you are comparing yourself to someone else. It can be our constant inner dialogue. But what does it get…
Whooosh. That's the sound of air deflating from a balloon and what it feels like inside when you are around a toxic person. They suck the air out of the room, they make you feel small, They make you leak your power. Don't believe what they say or imply about…
It's hurtful to be "pigeonholed." When someone pigeonholes you, they see you according to THEIR filters. Being "pigeon-holed" keeps you 'in a box." They don't see you becoming more than you are currently. For example, at work, you may be perceived as excellent in your current role, but not ready…
Some people really can be imposters! They say they can deliver but they don't, or they say they'll be there for you but they're not. They say they have a certain background but they are lying. They are a 'fake'. Someone who is an imposter is inherently untrustworthy because they…
The thoughts are spinning around in your head. You can't get to sleep, or get back to sleep. It's a lonely feeling and on top of it you're exhausted. Why? You were awake worrying. Maybe you couldn't get to sleep, maybe you woke up at 2 am after you finally…
Your manager promised she'd get back to you about your promotion, but its been months and you haven't heard anything... It's been several weeks since you've gotten a call from the hiring manager for the job interview you thought you aced... Your significant other keeps saying that you'll talk about…
Science is helping us understand that there are a number of causes of depression that come from what goes on in our body and show up in our mental health. Here are 4 frequent causes that may help you understand some of the reasons behind why you feel dark or…
You're sitting in a meeting and a leader turns to you and says "why did you do the analysis this way?" What happens next? You react. What's your tone? Defensive! You can feel all the energy drain out of your body. You can barely listen for the rest of the…
Key career changes often happen due in part to moves from influential sponsors and/or personal mentors. You are probably great at relationships, so you can use this natural strength to develop relationships that will help you advance in your career. A Mentor and a Sponsor are specific kinds of relationships…
In order to advance in your career, other people need to know about what you have done and what you can do for them and the organization. Most women have been given messages by their family or community that they are “too much” and they should keep themselves "small" in…
Because the traditional stereotype of a leader in organizations has been of a man, there are a variety of ways women have not been perceived as capable leaders. All humans have unknowingly inherited these biased ways of thinking. They are shortcuts to categorize people so we can know how to…
Are you supporting a family member facing a health crisis, facing a crisis in your professional life, or dealing with a traumatic end to a relationship? Or is this a time of a different kind of severe stress in your life? What is stressful about severe stress is…
Do you hop from job to job because you never seem happy at work? Do you dread coming into work? In some cases, you may have more control over this situation than meets the eye. Promise yourself you will not take or stay in a job you actively don't like.…
How many thoughts do you think a woman has each day? The answer: scientists estimate the average woman has about 60,000 thoughts each day! A mentally strong woman has a secret power to stay focused on the thoughts that need her energy for her goals. Here are five thoughts to…
Do you dread Monday mornings (and the rest of the work week as well?) Does it go beyond a bad boss or a dead end job? It might be a sign you are in the wrong job for you or in the wrong industry. Sometimes you take on a job…
When a woman finds out there’s a pay gap between a male coworker that’s just as qualified as she is, what can she do? What is in her power and what is outside her control? What is the most professional way to close that gap? Today is Equal Pay Day. This…
New revelations of women’s #Me Too experiences are coming out every day, circulating conversations within the media and in our social circles. Even if another woman’s specific experience didn’t happen to you, it may have an impact on you just by reading, thinking or talking about it. If you’ve had…
This year I was asked to speak at my college reunion on the topic of "what to do if life throws you a curveball." Here are some ways you can be resilient when life doesn't go the way you had hoped: Count your blessings AND count your contributions An important…
When you wake up in the morning you have a fresh start to a new day. See if you are starting off your day as a confident woman by checking in with the list below. If not, start telling yourself these things and you’ll set yourself up to be more…
You’re a giving person. You give of your time, your resources, your advice, your love. How would you know if it’s helping to grow your life or if it’s making you feel unappreciated? Here are three signs you're not being appreciated for your efforts. You are not advancing your life…
When someone you are with makes a negative comment, the weather in your world immediately changes. You’re going along feeling good inside yourself but then their critical comment or complaint hijacks you. You may notice the burn of frustration starting as a pit inside your stomach. You might feel a…
Do you have someone in your life who is struggling, and you want desperately to help them? You care about that person and you want to see them live up to their potential. You’ve tried in so many ways to help them, but they refuse your help. You are tempted…
How many times does your morning alarm go off and you hit the snooze button? Do you drag yourself out of bed, exhausted and anxious about your ‘to do’ list? Do you not feel excited about the day? First order of business is to get more sleep and be less…
Tired of not feeling seen? Take it personally when a narcissist criticizes you? See if you can protect yourself from the effects of a narcissist by following these guidelines and avoiding these five phrases. “You’re wrong” Avoid publicly embarrassing a narcissist because they are likely to retaliate by attacking you.…
As women, we are great at worrying — our brains are even wired to do so! It makes us GREAT problem solvers and proves how dedicated we are to supporting the welfare of others. But we can turn off that switch and try using these 5 Cs to keep you…
You're probably on-the-go from the moment you wake up until the time you collapse into bed and go to sleep. This approach to pushing yourself all day seems like it would be the right way to get the most done and exhaust yourself to sleep well. But what would you…
Here are five ways to tune out your self-defeating thoughts so you don't hold yourself back from getting that job! Don't make other people '1 up' and you '1 down' Do you ever compare yourself to other people and think they are better, smarter or more experienced than you? When…
Leave yesterday behind A confident woman knows she can't be confident if she is playing 'tapes in her head' where she is the victim. If she faced situations yesterday in which she was not treated well, she knows how to clear those from her system. She knows how to speak…
It's common for dedicated women to have trouble sleeping because they are so wound up by all that is in their mind. Here are five strategies you can use to calm your body down and get to sleep (and stay asleep all night!). Left nostril breathing If you awaken at 3…
Whether it’s because of work, motherhood, relationships or etc., most women understand what it’s like to face multiple stressors on a day-to-day basis. When we’re stressed, we have two options: either we buckle under pressure, or we soldier on and rise above the challenges. Here are seven signs that you…
You have the instinct that this situation is unhealthy for you, and your friends and family members have told you to ‘leave.’ But you just feel like you can’t – at least not yet. It may be more complicated than you think based on relationships from your past. So…
Be a woman who gives these things to herself, and show this respect to other women so they can feel deserving of them too. See her skills objectively See her as someone who performs precise surgery, handles the plane with accuracy, has the strength to lift concrete blocks,…
“I can’t take it anymore.” That’s the silent scream I’ve heard from so many women lately; hard times keep stacking up. Natural disasters and manmade attacks that terrify. Politics that make you burn. Changes in your inner circle as relationships end and family members pass on. Sometimes you just feel…
Do you ever wish you could start a conversation to get someone else to change their behavior … but you don’t know how to bring it up? You don’t have to silence yourself and stew about their frustrating behavior. Instead follow this tip to initiate awkward conversations and get more…
You feel exhausted after a day of giving to everyone else. All you want to do is have a night of restful sleep … but your mind is filled with thoughts about today’s worries and tomorrow’s ‘to-do’s’. How can you turn your brain off and find peace of mind? Use…
A bad interaction with someone may immediately cause you to think, ‘that person is disrespectful.’ What behaviors make you feel disrespected, even though that may not be their intent? Attack The idea behind this communication strategy is to put you down, so that the other person feels ‘one up.’…
How you start off your day can have a big effect on how the rest of your day goes. You can take control of your morning so you have the best chance of making it a day where you feel, ‘I got out on the right side of the bed…
Can you ever have relationships with people that are friction-free? We are becoming so diverse in our workplace and communities that you are bound to interact with people who have a different personality, communication, and cognitive style from you. They might come from a different culture. They may have competing…
There are many varieties of people who “talk down to you.” Their words and their tone suggest they know more than you, or that you are not at their same level. It could be someone who is narcissistic. Or who ‘mansplains.’ Or who is so caught up in their passion…
An independent woman or alpha female is very valuable to every family, organization, and friendship circle she is a part of. She is a leader - the one who drives results, makes decisions, and produces gatherings and events. She knows what she wants, and she wants things to be delivered…
You’re tossing and turning from one side to the other. It’s 2am and you can’t turn your head off. You have too much on your mind! What can you do to turn off your head and get that needed rest? In your toolbox, you want strategies which both relax your…
You know in your mind that you are really good and you have something valuable to add to a meeting. But when it comes time to speaking up or stepping up, you don’t feel it in your bones. You start to have that inner debate: should I go for it,…
You’ve prepped and you know your stuff when you walk into the meeting room… You’ve called up confidence and spoke up. Phew! You feel good about what you’ve said. But then the senior leader or the prospect responds with a question, and you don’t know all the answers. You freeze.…
When someone puts you down or presses your buttons you’ll likely have an emotional reaction. Before you even have time to think it through you are Mad! Sad! Disappointed! You won’t make your best comeback thinking about it with that mental state. First order of business is to get centered.…
Do you have to deal with someone who pushes your buttons? Do you feel criticized and frustrated, or wish they would be different? Do you find yourself reacting and reverting to old ways? Keep these strategies in mind so you can show up as who YOU want to be in…
1. Have a pre-sleep ritual To counter the build-up of stress hormones throughout the day, have a pre-sleep ritual. A great one is to do a 1-2 minute reflection on the day and what you are grateful for. Doing this will change your energy as it takes you out of…
Have you ever been complimented but shrugged it off? Have you accomplished a lot but don't think you are enough? I did this a few weeks ago. I love making mistakes so YOU can learn from them! I was sitting around a table of top business owners in the wellness/personal…
It’s one of the most maddening situations you can be in… “My manager doesn’t see me as someone who is ready for more responsibility. I want to be seen as more of a leader!” “I keep bringing in small clients but I want to be seen as someone who works…
Do you want 2017 to be the year you breakthrough to your next level? If you said “Yes”, let me ask you another question: Are you insane? I know you didn’t expect that! Why do I ask? "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different…
It doesn’t take 10 years of stretch assignments or even 10 years of therapy to become rock solid confident. In fact, most of the time the very approaches we take to build confidence are the ones that keep you at your current level of confidence. When it comes to confidence,…
In a meeting with senior leaders you think of something valuable to say…then you start the inner debate: should I say it now? What if they think I’m wrong? What if it shows I don’t know enough? Ever get confused why you hesitate, especially when you speak up freely with…
What do confident women tell themselves when they start their day? Find out and start YOUR day with these phrases: “I will act to fulfill my purpose today.” How do you want to make an impact on others’ lives today? That’s what you want to focus on. What are the…
Here are 9 ways confident women RISE ABOVE it when others put them down. Be prepared to carry out any of these strategies in case it ever happens to you... Rise Above What are the qualities and attributes of who YOU want to show up as? Don’t take it personally…
Ok admit it: The first thing we want to do when dealing with an angry person is to get them to STOP being angry. Our tendency is to want THEM to change! Rather, Be Impeccable for your 50%. Instead of trying to get them to calm down, calm yourself down.…
This week a client shared with me that her boss says inappropriately negative things about her. Another client told me about a peer who wouldn’t get her the materials needed, took credit for their work, would throw out barbs that made my client look bad. If you have someone in…
How can you turn your head off and find peace of mind without meditating in a cave for a week or having a few drinks each night? Use the approaches below to help you be present and relaxed. 1. Mind follows breath The fastest way to calm your mind is…
1. Protect yourself from their negativity To protect yourself, in your imagination surround yourself with a shield. Use whatever metaphor works for you (e.g., surround yourself with rays of white light, place a glass cone around you, wear a breastplate). Another thing that works well is to imagine the person…
Do you have a strong personality and been told you come on too strong? If so, I bet you are someone who gets results and goes the extra mile. The Problem? You get to the answer much quicker than other people. Other people frustrate you. And then you have a…
Have you ever had a time in your life when you feel like the rug is being pulled out from under you? Everything is changing, not in ways you hoped for. How can you be at your best and be fearless when all you feel is fearful? Find the eye…
You know you should get 8 hours of sleep a night. And you tell yourself you should be more confident. But did you know that your sleep and your confidence are related? It makes sense: - When exhausted, you’re more likely to react negatively to situations, take things personally, and…
When trying to reach our goals, we often focus on the external results we want to achieve, such as completing the project you’re working on, earning more, or finishing coursework for your degree. But you can’t control the outcome. You have to chase down other people to get them…
You bring up a good idea in a meeting… but it falls flat and no one picks up on it. Five minutes later “Bob” repeats the same idea and everyone says, “Great idea, let’s run with that.” “Bob” is asked to lead the initiative. You are incredulous, you think…
It doesn’t matter what position you’re in, anyone can be a leader. You don’t have to wait to officially be promoted, you can start acting like a leader today (and then others will see you’re ready to be a leader at the next level). Here are 5 ways to be…
There are 3 things to consider if you are wondering whether you have been in your current job too long and are ready for your next one. First, do you want another job? If you experience any of these, you WANT another job: You can do your job with…
Do you know what you should be doing… but don’t do it? If you haven’t taken action on an important task for your business or career, or if you have been talking about (but putting off) a next step in your life, you might tell yourself that you ‘don’t have…
What you do in the few minutes before bed aren’t the only what help you get a rejuvenating night of sleep. There are things you can do throughout your whole day that will set you up to relax at bedtime and sleep soundly. You only experience the kind of stress…
As working women, we work hard and give to others all day. When we are advised to get eight hours of sleep, but don't, it can make us feel guilty. We wish we knew how to shut off our devices in the evening, how to keep ourselves from trading an…
