So you’re hurt? You’re disappointed? Something didn’t work out the way you wanted it to? You probably have good reason to feel bad. But you still love this person, although he might have acted like a jerk. You know you need to forgive because what was done to you was not a deal breaker. You simply can’t right now. Here are some tips for turning things around:
Take an inventory
On one side of the paper, list all of the good things about him and the relationship. On the other side of the paper, list all the things that hurt you. Take a good look at what column has more and weigh the incidences. If you come out with more pluses than minuses, remind yourself that everyone screws up from time to time, even you. Although you may be hurt, perhaps it’s time to act as if you forgive, even if you don’t feel that way 100%.
Get it off your chest
Practice open communication with your partner. Say what’s on your mind in brief sentences, pause, and let him respond. Try to really listen to what’s being said, even if the pain is still fresh.
What do your friends say?
Your friends really like him, have shown you his perspective, and want you to forgive and forget. These are your best friends, and they have your best interests at heart.
Catch yourself playing the blame game
Sometimes it’s easier to keep blaming someone than to take responsibility for your side of the street. Move on with your life and allow yourself to enjoy the good part of your relationship.
Listen to your heart
Even though you’re hurt, what, deep down, is your heart saying to you? If this person was totally out of your life, how would you feel? Not very good.