Here are five ways to tune out your self-defeating thoughts so you don’t hold yourself back from getting that job!
Don’t make other people ‘1 up’ and you ‘1 down’
Do you ever compare yourself to other people and think they are better, smarter or more experienced than you? When you have an interview, it’s your opportunity to show YOUR passion and tell the interviewer what YOU will do in the job. Don’t put other people up on a pedestal in your mind, or make yourself feel inadequate. Your interviewer wants to see your talents and enthusiasm for the job. Go into the interview telling the interviewer why you want the job and create a contagious positive feeling in the room. Remember the Maya Angelou quote: “People may not remember exactly what you said, but they will always remember how you made them feel.”
Be intentional about what you want the interviewer to think about you
Instead of thinking you are not enough, put your brain cells into thinking about which three words you want the interviewer to think about you at the end of the interview. Then show up as that woman, so they think those things about you! If your three words are positive, productive and strategic, then think of examples you can talk about from your experience that show how you were able to get things done. Show up with a smile and positive energy, give an example of how you turned ‘lemon into lemonade,’ and tell a story about how you learned to think at the next level. Be intentional – enjoy those three qualities about yourself and show the interviewer how they will be getting all of those qualities when they hire you!
Create a mental movie in their mind of you doing the job!
Instead of thinking about how you may not be ‘enough’ for the job, think about what it would be like when you are doing that job. Then describe that to your interviewer – that helps them literally ‘see’ you doing it already! Say things like: “I want to do ___”, “I picture myself coming in and doing ___”. If you are already in a job and want to be promoted to the next level, then show the interviewer how you will build on what you are already doing: “I want to build on what I’ve learned in my current role and do ___ at the next level”, “I see what I’ve been doing in my current role as the first phase, and in this next level role I want to carry out phase two which is ___”.
This approach also helps women overcome the “prove it again” unconscious bias in which women can be evaluated as great at what they are doing now but not seen for their future potential.
Get out of your head and into your body!
When you find yourself going around and around with negative thoughts in your head, its time to get out of your head! And into your body! Before you go in for that interview or pick up that phone, take a few minutes to feel your happiest energy in your body. Turn on a song you LOVE to dance to, and really get into dancing with all your enthusiasm (you’ll go into that interview with a huge smile on your face). Or if you are in a work setting, remember a time when you rocked it and relive how it felt in your body. Go for a walk, get sun on your face, do some stretches (and maybe pull a dance move or two before you walk in the door!) Remember who you are when you are in your joy. If you are feeling anxious, you can also tap an acupressure point that calms anxiety
Focus on who you can help
If you find yourself getting stuck in negative thoughts, change your question. Instead of asking yourself, “Who am I to do this job?” ask ,”Who will I be able to help in this job?” Focus on the people you can help by getting this job – your customers, your family members by earning that income. Don’t make it about you – just love on the people you can help and you will shine in the interview.