Soulmate, O soulmate, where art thou? In my interview with Arielle Ford, author of “The Soulmate Secret” and “Turn Your Mate Into Your Soulmate,” I received a few insightful tips on how you can turn your partner into…your soulmate.
Understand what love is.
According to Arielle, a lot of people don’t actually understand what love is. She describes love as “a behavior, not a feeling. It’s an action, a choice. The euphoric part of being in love, the honeymoon phase, lasts about 6-18 months and then disappears (and yes, it comes and goes). After that you have to live love as an action.” Which brings me to my next point:
Are you ready for commitment?
As much as you may love your soulmate, there are going to be moments when they make you angry, and that’s where the commitment part comes in. Ask yourself, “am I ready to love this person unconditionally, given that they send my blood pressure up?” There are going to be days where you too might be at each other’s throats, but once you are certain that you wouldn’t want it any other way, that’s when you might know you’re ready to commit. You’re positive that you want to go through the thick and thin with this person.
Accept each other’s differences.
Throughout the interview I learned that Dr. John Gottman of the Gottman Institute “discovered that every couple has a minimum of 9 irreconcilable differences.” Instead of trying to change the other person or get them to function the way you want them to, Arielle suggests that you learn to respect each other’s differences and discover “creative solutions” to your issues.
When searching for “the one,” we tend to look for things that we have in common with someone, but it’s okay if you and your partner don’t have every little thing in common. When you and your partner are opposites, you can actually balance each other out. There’s always “something to learn from each other.”
You can have a great connection, wonderful communication, and the best chemistry with someone, but the key is to choose wisely. As Arielle puts it “a shared vision is the most important part of the pie.” A connection can be increased, communication can be improved, and if your chemistry ever takes a hit, there are ways it can be rekindled. However, if the two of you don’t have a shared vision for the future, then that could be a recipe for disaster. If you’re a person who really wants to travel the world while your partner desires to settle down, then it might not work out, so remember — be wise and choose carefully.
“Love, the socially acceptable form of Insanity” – Arielle Ford