We all want our relationships to work, and it’s very painful when they don’t. What are some of the lessons learned when things fall apart? Here are some problem areas that next time can be avoided.
Assuming instead of asking
You can’t read the mind of your partner, friend or co-worker, and when you think you can, you’re in trouble. If you are feeling like they have a certain point of view, do a reality check and ask them directly what’s going on. Talking everything out, instead of bottling in your feelings, will build a stronger bond and set clearer boundaries.
Playing the blame game
Pointing fingers never solves a problem. Blaming someone else for the problems in a relationship is a real cop out, and just leads to more stress. Yes, they may be a contributor, but it’s not all their fault. It’s best to look to yourself and clean up your side of the street.
Underestimating the other person
You may have it in your mind that they are limited in some way. But are they really or is that one of your prejudices? Not believe the other person is capable of growing is a surefire way to destroy the relationship.
Not acknowledging all the good stuff
Yes, we all make mistakes but if you are constantly holding on to them, it poisons a relationship. Always look for something good because it’s there. You are not being like a pollyanna, you are just being positive, and constructive.
Feeling too insecure
It’s hard to be around an insecure person. If you don’t believe that you are worthy of this relationship–and do not do something about this shortcoming–you most likely will push it away.
All get, no give
There needs to be give and take in a relationship, not one sided. If you are not getting what you need, you must voice your concerns. Don’t let them ride and think they will fix themselves, because they won’t.