Are you feeling unfulfilled at home with your personal relationships? At work, have you felt that there’s something more you needed to build with your boss but didn’t know how? Here are some reasons why you may not be getting what you need from your relationships and how to change that.
You’re not being truthful/honest about how you feel
Relationships are built on trust and honesty. We’ve heard this time and time again because it’s the truth. To be completely transparent with another person is to essentially give that person your whole, true self. If you’re not being honest about how you’re feeling, whether it’s because of an argument or because of something they called you out on while you kept quiet–how do you expect the relationship to strengthen and grow? Start with small truths, things that you brushed under the rug because they didn’t mean much. You can build on those little truths one day at a time until it becomes a habit to express your honest self with larger and not-so-comfortable topics. Your voice matters.
You’re afraid to say what you really want for fear it will break the relationship
You want to be honest about what really happened that day, but are scared the relationship will turn to shambles? It’s understandable to feel that way if you don’t want to lose the other person in your life. Granted, you should weigh the situation at hand–but if this person truly wants you in their life as well, they won’t let one detail be the cause of a broken relationship. Regardless, it’s better to come clean and say what you really want than for them to find out through other people, which could be worse than the actual truth.
You’re expecting too much from one person
Take an out-of-body approach. You know you’re not perfect, so why should you expect perfection from someone else? You may think that you have a big heart and that you care too much about others without receiving the same in return. Know that everyone expresses their care for each other in different ways. Don’t take it personally if they can’t fulfill everything you ask for. Think about how you’d feel if they pressured you in the same way. Doesn’t feel good, does it?
You’re not letting your guard down
You’ve been hurt or betrayed before, so you put up a wall to protect yourself and your heart. Meanwhile, others are chipping away at that wall trying to tear it down. Why not give them the benefit of the doubt? If you are betrayed in the end, just know that you gave it your all; that will give you a peace of mind that no barrier could ever give.
You’re not trying to understand their point of view
You complain about not feeling fulfilled in your relationships, but are you actually putting in the work to connect with the other person? Take some time to really get to know the other person’s needs, wants, values and thoughts. Bond over your similarities; debate your opposing views with an open mind. But whatever you do, give them the same kind of respect you’d like to receive in return.
You’re feeling like a victim
We’re guilty of playing the victim game from time to time. Try to pull yourself out of that unattractive mindset. That “woe is me” outlook on life is not only deterring your closest people from spending time with you (talk about bad energy), it will also push away any potential new, wonderful relationships. Instead, be grateful for the relationships you do have in your life, no matter how dysfunctional. Put your olive branch out there and let them know how much you care about making your relationship work, and that you’re willing to put forth the effort.