When you’ve been hurt a lot, it’s easy to associate love with pain. So naturally, we’re more apt to hesitate when love comes knocking at our door. However, apathy and pessimism only work well for tortured artists. So get back out there and feel free to bring these thoughts with you.
1. Appreciate your own journey and strength
Before you can let someone give you what you deserve and desire, it helps to know what those things are. The great thing about the ghosts of lost love and lust is that you get to learn and grow because of them.
2. Do it all according to your own timeline
Take things as slow as you want and never do anything because society tells you that’s what you’re supposed to do. If you feel like taking things slow, go for it, and if you feel like doing things “out of order” then that’s fine too.
Nobody knows the sum of what you’ve been through and the thoughts that go through your head. The only way to help someone be a part of your experiences is by allowing them to understand where you’re coming from and where you are now.
4. Use your support system
On the same communication token, you can’t expect to throw all your fears and “mad mind chatter” at this new person in your life. So that’s what those poor schmucks you call your friends are for.
It’s easy to get caught up in the tangled web of vulnerability and insecurity when relationships are new. Especially when the past ones left you underwhelmed and licking your emotional wounds. But sometimes you just need to breathe. None of this is going to kill you and you’re going to be OK.
6. Let go of that “are you the one” mentality
We all hope for the prince charming but these days I’d rather we dream of being Beyonce. Have fun, live in the moment, and don’t forget to just enjoy yourself. These are the things that life is all about.