Anyone who’s ever been in a committed relationship knows that it takes a bit of work to keep things running smoothly. And while we’re quick to declare things like lying, cheating, or abuse as relationship deal breakers, we may not be as likely to notice the little things that are slowly damaging our relationship.
Want to know what habits could be taking a toll on your romance? Here are seven habits that could eventually kill your relationship.
We all go into a relationship with various expectations for how things will go. You could expect your partner to pay a certain share of the bills, do a certain amount of housework, or treat you like a first priority. While these are not unrealistic expectations on their own, it can all add up eventually, making your partner feel as if they’ll never be able to give you what you want. There need to be healthy boundaries set in place for you and your partner to both avoid feeling restricted or bogged down.
Problems with aggression
If you or your partner quickly resort to anger over the smallest of issues, it could be harmful for your relationship. Becoming immediately aggressive when problems arise or attacking your partner instead of trying to calmly discuss the matter can cause you to say things you don’t mean. It’s important to put yourself in your partner’s shoes and communicate openly to avoid further damage to the relationship.
If the things you say to your partner typically go in one ear and out the other, your relationship could be in danger. It’s understandable if your partner has had a tough day or has a lot on their mind. But if every statement is met with a wide-eyed blank stare, or the subject is immediately changed to what they’d rather be talking about, it’s possible that your relationship won’t last.
Not making time
We all have a variety of things going on in our lives that demand our attention. But when you’re in a relationship, it’s important to make time for your significant other, no matter how busy you are. While your partner doesn’t have to be your first priority, you should at least make an effort to spend quality time with them when you can. Otherwise, you run the risk of becoming strangers to one another.
If you or your partner are controlling, it’s probably due to unaddressed fears or insecurities. Being too controlling is one of the fastest ways to end a relationship, so if this is your problem, try discussing your insecurities with your partner. The two of you should find a way to compromise so that there can be more reassurance for you and freedom for them.
Lack of affection
A lack of affection doesn’t always mean a lack of physical affection in the relationship. Everyone has a different love language, meaning the way they express and understand love. Some may like words of affirmation or receiving gifts. Others may prefer quality time or acts of service. It all depends on what you and your partner both need. If either of you feels your emotional needs aren’t being met, resentment can grow and kill the relationship.
Getting stuck in a routine
Long-term relationships are great, but sometimes they can feel stale or boring. As you and your partner become more comfortable with each other, you’ll most likely develop a routine. Knowing you’ll watch a movie every Sunday, or have a Friday night dinner every other week can actually become monotonous. Doing new and exciting things with each other can help you keep the relationship fresh and avoid becoming stuck in a rut.
These habits can surely bring a relationship to its knees, but it’s not too late to turn things around now that you’re aware. If you want to save your relationship, try talking to your partner openly, honestly, and without judgment. And don’t be afraid to see a couples’ therapist if your problems require a little extra TLC.
These points are the opinion of the writer and her experience.