It seems like nearly every day someone is asking me “how do I know if he is my soulmate?”
It’s a valid question.
Besides having a sense of “knowing” and feeling like you have known them forever, you must discern if they are a viable “life partner.” Simply having feelings of deep recognition is not enough for a long, happy, successful relationship.
We all have many, many soulmates (some are friends, children, siblings, parents, business partners, even pets!) but, for a lifetime romantic partner, you need much more. So, before saying “I do” (or “I re-commit to you, my beloved”) see if he or she fits this criteria:
You have been in a committed relationship for at least one year, have met his family and friends and he has met yours and you both love each other.
These are the basics, and here is more:
You and your soulmate share chemistry, compatibility, great communication skills (these can be learned but if possible, learn them BEFORE the wedding) and most importantly a shared vision for the future(kids, lifestyle, etc).
You don’t have to do everything together (and shouldn’t) but you must decide ahead of time that you each have space and support for the other’s passions.
And then look at their behavior:
- Can you count on them to keep you physically and emotionally safe?
- When you are stressed out, hurt, or ill, do they provide concern and assistance?
- When you share your thoughts, feelings and worries do they listen and respond with compassion, empathy and care?
- Do you trust them and can you count on them to keep their word?
- Do they want to spend time with you and do they make future plans?
- Do they celebrate your wins in life and hold your hands in the down times?
- Are they financially responsible?
- Is their happiness as important to you as your own?
If you can check most or all of the boxes, you’ve got a keeper!