We all know people who annoy us or irritate us. But there are people who are toxic, whose way of interacting with us can be draining, infuriating and even like a form of Kryptonite that robs us of our well-being. Here are the most common types of people to be aware of — and to beware of.
“Wait ‘til you hear this!” – The Gossip
Let’s be honest, everyone gossips. There is something so titillating about knowing some information and sharing it that makes us feel powerful and part of something special. Spilling secrets or half-truths doesn’t serve you well. Holding your tongue and listening will be far more effective in relationships, workplace and otherwise. Remember…your ears can never get you into trouble!
“This is the absolute worst!” – The Pessimist
At times we all feel doubtful, worried or concerned about a situation. That’s a normal emotional response. But for a pessimist, everything is doom and gloom and nothing is enough. Unfortunately, people’s belief systems tend to affect their behavior. The person who thinks nothing will ever work out and constantly repeats that will likely bring it to fruition. Don’t buy into that story because if you do, you’ll find yourself on their sinking ship.
“Why does this always happen to me?” – The Victim
The victim is constantly in the “woe is me” state. You’ll hear things like “I have the worst luck” or “Nothing good ever happens to me.” After a while, being around this type of constant “poor me” will become dangerous to your well-being. Victims are often looking for others to validate their feelings and it can be a slippery slope between being kind and supportive and realizing you should have set some boundaries. Set them. It’s essential for your peace of mind.
“Of course I’m telling you the truth, you’re my best friend!” – The Underminer
You know that person who claims to be your bestie but always has a sharp remark that takes you down? Hiding under the pretext of being on your side, the underminer takes great pleasure in letting you know your faults, foibles, and mistakes. Your talents and successes? They’re not as interesting. What the underminer wants is to feel good when others fail, or think they’re failing. Big mistake to allow one of these into your life.
“Listen to me, I know exactly what you should do.” – The Manipulator
OH!!!! The manipulator. Possibly the most challenging of all. Manipulators are masters of control, although they probably think they’re uber-helpful. Manipulators are master button-pushers who will prey on your soft spots to get you to fall into line. You can spot manipulators quickly when you realize they’re usually trying to convince you of something that they want you to do, on their terms. Avoid ceding control in your life to one of these.
