Loving someone so wholeheartedly that you can’t imagine life without that person is thrilling. Yet if you lose that person that made you feel that way, the heartbreak can be devastating. You may never feel like you can capture that feeling again, and you’re right –– at least, you won’t be in love in the same exact way twice. However, you can find the strength to love again, as long as you take care of yourself first.
Grieve
As much as it stings, letting yourself be sad is important part of ending a relationship. You won’t do yourself any favors by pretending the relationship was worthless. It’s okay to cry over when it’s over; sometimes, the tears can help mend the broken pieces of your heart. Acknowledging the way you feel now can help you learn to love again in the future.
Take time for self-care
Don’t wait for someone to take care of you in order to find your self-worth. Instead, try to focus on the interests for which you never felt like you have time. Listen to your favorite songs that your ex never liked and watch the shows you were embarrassed to watch together. Eat at a restaurant by yourself and don’t share your plate. Pursuing your passions will help you fall in love with yourself first, because as they say, how will anybody else love you if you don’t love yourself?
Let go
The more you tell yourself not to think about the person you’ve lost, the more that person occupies your mind. Instead, find ways to let that person go. If you’re always checking your partner’s pages when you’re online, try taking a break from social media.
A person is only the “love of your life” for as long as you let him or her. Thank your ex for the memories and open yourself up to new ones. Those memories may be with friends, with your family, by yourself, or with a new lover.
Be single
Being in love is wonderful, but there’s nothing quite as fun as being newly single. Flirt, be coquettish, giggle with your friends about a cute person, and politely turn down anyone to whom you’re not attracted. Replace date nights with girls’ nights out. Rushing into a new relationship is the surest way to end up with someone who’s not right for you.
Don’t compare
No two people are the same, so don’t expect them to express their love the same one. Just because your ex regularly bought you flowers doesn’t mean your new partner doesn’t love you as much. Learning how people communicate takes time, and besides, you don’t want to retrace the same steps you took with your ex. Where’s the fun in that?
Lower your walls . . . slowly
Love means being completely vulnerable to another person, so when your heart breaks, you may feel like you’ve lost your own power. You don’t have to completely lower your defenses when you’ve met someone new. Yet if you want to be closer to the person you like, you’ll need to learn to trust them by exposing the softer parts of you.
Enjoy the moment
Too often we’re tied up with labels and stages of our lives. Are you dating? Do you want to get married? Don’t be with someone just because you feel like need it. Slow down, appreciate the little moments with your new love, and let that warm feeling fill you.
