Ending a challenging relationship hurts. Between homework, classes, and extracurricular activities, it can be hard to take care of yourself during the rough patch of a break up. But you must make time for reflection and self-care, and these tips will help you do that.
Know it’s not your fault
When you’re the one who’s been dumped, you may start blaming yourself. What if you had dressed differently, liked more of your ex’s musical preferences, or just been… “cooler.” No matter what, know that if the relationship failed, then it failed for a reason, and you’re better off ending it now.
Be (really) sad (but not forever)
Don’t tell yourself to hurry up and “get over it.” Instead, let yourself feel a range of emotion. If you’re sad, feel sad, if you’re angry, get angry! Allowing yourself to work through your feelings will help you move on.
Reconnect with friends
Don’t stay alone in your room feeling sorry for yourself. Catch up with the people who love you. Be honest and let them know how you’re feeling. They might have some great ideas to get your mind off your ex.
Don’t indulge in bad habits
Be careful how you make yourself feel better. Try something new instead to take your mind off your misery. Use your creative side, learn an instrument, or join a club.
Don’t get tangled up in a new relationship for awhile. Go out and meet different people. A change of pace will help you move forward, and sometimes making new friends who don’t know your ex can offer a fresh perspective.
Don’t be “friends”
One of you probably said, “Can we still be friends?” Sometimes you can, sometimes you can’t, but right after the breakup? Absolutely not. If you are asked that, say, “Let me think about it,” and take as much time as you need to recover.
Cut off social media—no stalking!
This can be hard, especially if you’re used to texting regularly throughout the day. Either block or unfollow your ex, and don’t peek. Checking their Facebook feed every few hours to see what parties they’ve been to, or who they’ve been hanging out with, won’t make you feel better.
Think about the future
Don’t get caught up in the past. If you find yourself thinking of ways to “get them back,” then you need to change course. Think of why the relationship ended. Something wasn’t working. Instead, keep focused on your future and the possibilities ahead.